Priorities! - a short story

Read a nice short story recently. Really short it is. It had some other title, but I chose to call it "Priorities!"

At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Senor Humphrey? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died."


"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the international competition?"

"Si, that's the one."

"Darn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating the rotten meat."

"Rotten meat? Who fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, senor. He ate the meat of the dead caballo."


"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Mr. Lucky."

"Mr. Lucky! My horse that won the Preakness a few years back?"

"Si."

"How did he die?"

"He died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire."


"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your hacienda! A candle fell, and the curtains caught on fire."

"What!!! But there's electricity at the house!!!! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral."

"FUNERAL? WHAT FUNERAL?!"

"Your mother's. She showed up one night out of the blue, and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver."

*** SILENCE ***

"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're fired!"

Do you like it?

Let us be thankful for the fools...

Of late, I have been seeing - with lot of dismay, I must add - that fools in this world are being ridiculed left, right and centre. If an ordinary fool does not have a place in this world, where the world is going to? Encouraged by dear Anita Varghese, soon I am venturing into starting an Association of Supreme Fools (hereafter referred as ASF).

ASF will strive to put our view point to the world at large. People may say what they like, but we will continue to espouse the cause of fools like us. Motto of ASF is simple. "Let us be thankful for the fools." I have been collecting information and currently doing a literature survey on the subject. (Wait for the brochure of ASF - will be published soon).


Please remember what Mark Twain and Einstein said on this subject. Mark Twain said (it seems) :

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. And someone equally intelligent went one step further. "The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity".

And our own Einstein is supposed to have remarked, The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. He has also said once, I am told, "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not so sure about the the universe."

If you are wondering whether Einstein put it in the right spirit, here is another one by Elmert Hubbard, which explains the issue in right perspective : "Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped."

Some people think that it is quite easy to be a fool. Only experienced people will know how difficult it is and what supreme sacrifice we do every day to be in this state. All for making the world a happy and cheerful place. On the other hand, being a wise person only is very easy.

SAM Levenson : It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.

The Founding members of ASF are determined to take all the abuse in our chin and march ahead. Our guiding principle is that we shall not be deterred by petty talks and humiliations of others. People may try to keep us out of their lives or even try to prevent their children from joining our society - we may even become a minority in the future and face extinction. But,

Nothing is foolproof.............to a sufficiently talented fool.

So, we fools will continue our service to the society through ASF and be the voice of the voiceless. Like snoopy here.

PS : Membership drive is on. Send in your applications and register online through Musings...

Untouchable Firms

For all non-Indians, untouchability prevailing in our society is one of the distinct feature of India. Though things are still bad, I tend to think that we have made good progress in reducing the ills of untouchability - even though there are some horror pockets even now in spite of the huge political mobilisation of dalits during the last two decades. As India started becoming a 'powerful' economy, we added other sorts of untouchability also into our basket. Corporate untouchability is one for instance.

For the blue-eyed boys and girls passing out of the modern business temples called 'Indian Institute of Managements", placement season and jobs offered to them are normally front-page hogging news. Eight digit and nine digit salaries offered to them - that too in dollars - was usual. Not this year.

The ongoing recession has caught up with them too. Grudgingly, they are allowing some 'smaller' firms - who remained untouchable hitherto - also for placement. Here is a small news item on this.

"Every year by February, the sharp suits from corporate houses line up at the gates of IIM campuses hoping to recruit a bunch of bright young managers. The IIMs are snobbish about whom they let in, the blue-chip boys are cherry picked and accommodated, the rest left to wait in the rain. This year, things look rather different. Everyone — even former untouchables like start-ups — are welcome."

With the economy showing signs of distress, placement season this year has been squeezed of its juicy paychecks and headline-grabbing offers. Companies are recruiting fewer students and on more modest terms. When slot zero-day closed at IIM-Ahmedabad on Wednesday, it was clear that the recession had no exceptions. If 25 companies crammed into the IIM-A campus last year on slot zero-day, there were seven this year and 13 students landed up with offer letters as compared to dozens more last year.

‘‘When times were better, students walking out of interview were pounced upon by friends enquiring about the package. Today, all we asked was whether he made it,’’ said a graduating student. On Saturday, slot zero at IIM-Calcutta too was a somber affair. The big guns — I-banks and the foreign recruiters — were missing.

Joseph Ike, IIM-C recruitment co-ordinator, said the B-school had called companies from sectors such as media, pharma and retail which till now ‘‘have either not been associated with our campus or have been associated to a very small extent’’. Fewer foreign firms registered to participate in placement process.

Natural calamities are great levelers. Rich and poor, powerful and powerless, everyone is brought in to one level and treated with equality. I guess, the same is true for man-made calamities also. Like Economic Melt Down, Terrorism...

Rahman and Oscars

Entire India and the world is going ga-ga over A.R.Rahman getting oscars. All I can say is, What we knew more than twelve years ago, the world is getting to know only now! When we heard his songs from films like Minsara Kanavu, Taal, Kandukondaen.., we were amazed and might have listened to them a thousand times. Hollywood is catching up with me only now...

Anyway, congratulations to A.R.Rahman from me also.


After the oscars, when I called my fellow Rahman-fan, Sajan to share the happy moments, we got into a tussle (as usual) about Tamil vs Malayalam. He claimed that Rahman is a Malayali and there is no reason for me to get elated. I contested strongly and said that the entire world knows that he is a Tamilian. But, the truth is probably, he is a Tamil speaking Malayali, settled in Chennai.

Anyway, even if he is a born Tamilian, what is there for me to feel proud of? I was jokingly telling a friend that all of us have a share in this Oscar - because we only encouraged his music, liked it so much, ensured that his film music is success by watching and appreciating it; that is why he ended up getting this oscar. So, even though Rahman credited God for all his success, I think, we too have a right to a small piece.

Age of Technology

Even though I am living in Gudalur, which can be defined as a small place, we do many amazing things technologically. When I compare myself 10 years ago, today's version of myself is a much advanced model. I mean only technologically! We design stuff in computers and instantly get in touch with people in Germany and UK; talk to people abroad at any time of the day; converse much more with people outside India than with the neighbours!

And, Mobile Phones! If the mobile phone does not ring for more than one hour, it means you are out of coverage area or the local network is down. In all our meetings with adivasi team members, we are forced to have the first agenda as 'switching off the mobile phones or keeping it in silent mode'. So powerful communication! When there was a rumour about polio drops causing infection in some other part of Tamilnadu, our adivasis panicked within two hours and rushed to hospital! When our friend Vijayendran passed away, the news reached people in most of the villages (and to those who had gone to Bangalore and Calicut) within an hour or so.

It all feels good. I guess, this is how people would have felt when the first wheel was developed thousands of years ago. Here is a nice cartoon that I came across recently.

Another thing I like a lot is the imagination of the creators of 'The History of the World' movie around this Ten Commandments. They say, God actually gave 15 commandments to Moses in the Mount Sinai. In three big stone tablets containing 5 commandments each. But, while walking down the mountain saying 'God gave me 15 commandments', Moses accidentally drops one stone tablet and it breaks into pieces. So, Moses just makes it up and says, "God gave me 10 commandments'. That is how we have only 10 commandments today!

How to name a child?

“Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell, the name will carry.” - Bill cosby.

Neat simple advice. But, do you think, that is the only tip you can get in naming a child. No, there are lots of intricacies involved. Didn't realise before. We had decided on Vennila much before she was born. (Incidentally, it fulfills the Cosby rule as well!)

In our Bettakurumba adivasi community here, there are only seven or eight names. Eight for boys and eight for girls. So, most of the men will be either Bomman or Kethan or Maran or Manban. Girls? Simple, change the last vowel. It will be either Bommi or Kethi or Mari or Manbi.

In UK also, I used to think almost half the girls are called Catherine. But, I guess, some people are more particular. So, here are some tips on How to name your child. I read this interesting article recently.

"Naming your baby is one of the most important tasks you will ever undertake. The name is central to a child's earliest sense of identity, so the worst thing you could do when choosing a baby name is to rush into it. Settling for a name you are not 100% happy with may affect you and your child for a lifetime! Don't commit yourself to the first name that you'll find. Keep searching until you'll find a name that you truly like. So, what you should consider when choosing your baby's name? The following tips will help you give your baby the dream name he/she deserves.

The meaning of your child's name probably won't greatly affect his or her life, but may help you to make a decision between your favorites. Before choosing a name with a unique pronunciation or spelling keep in mind that your child will spend his or her lifetime explaining to others how the name is really spelled or pronounced. No one likes having their name constantly misspelled or mispronounced that's for sure.

How about P.G.Wodehouses' Psmith?

Check the Initials. Once you have an idea for the baby's name, always check the initials! While the full name may sound pretty, the initials may bring some surprise! Imagine the feeling of a child who grows up and realizes that their initials are: "N.I.L.", "Z.I.P." or "P.I.G." In order to avoid such embarrassment for the child, check the initials before you make your decision. You will be glad you did!

This is too much. I don't think parents can ever out-think the friends of their children. Howmuchever we think, kids will find something funny or nasty to say.

Check the nicknames or shortened forms of your child's name. Many names are shortened to nicknames during childhood, or other stages of life, so be sure to avoid baby names that might produce insulting nicknames when people shorten them. If you name your baby Richard, then expect him to be called also Rick. If you don't like this nickname, you may also reconsider your decision.

Our adivasi kids are too advanced in shortening names. Vennila is just called Ve. Sangeetha is Sa and Revathy is just Re.

Unusual names are hard to remember at first, but once remembered usually stick to memory much better. An unconventional name will make a wonderful conversation starter, especially if there is an interesting story behind it. You can feel free to be as creative and meaningful as possible with a middle name, because your child only has to reveal it when he feels comfortable. They may adore their middle name and tell everyone about it or they may hate it, but they never have to use it!

Popular or common names are normal and "safe", but sometimes they are easily forgotten, especially when you meet a lot of people all at once. However, a child with a popular name may be perceived better by society than a child with a unique name. But keep in mind that we love people because of who they are, not because of their name. Many of your friends have common first names, but have you ever considered them boring or average because of it?

Our chief minister has named his son Stalin! He may one day become our chief minister also. Tamil political leaders have a strange sense of naming their kids.

How it sounds? It's a good idea to recite your choices out loud. The full name should be sweet to the ears with no harshness. Saying it out loud and using it in common sentences will give you a better idea of how much you really like the name. Don't forget, some names look great when written on paper, but sound terrible off the tongue.

Make sure you don't choose a name that ends with the same letter your last name begins with. This can end up being a tongue twister and cause some teasing too.

(We, Tamilians don't have this problem - no First Name, Last name business for us!)

Remember that the other parent and your family will also have opinions about baby names, so it is a good idea to consider their opinions too. It is impossible to make everyone happy but we advise being respectful of your partner's feelings. However, keep in mind that that there is an easy solution: you can always use two names, using one as a middle name!

(We, Tamilians have a problem with this solution - no First Name, Last name business for us!)

Make sure that the name you choose is one that your child will be able to grow up with. Keep in mind that it should be applicable for all ages. You shouldn't pick a name that's really cute for an adorable little baby but will sound silly when the baby grows up.

(What rubbish! Our Kerala is full of old men with cute little names like 'Baby', 'Joy' and what not!)

Choose the names that you are most passionate about and make a favorites list as concise as possible. Have friends and family rate the names you choose. You can easily print out these surveys on paper or send by email. It's not a bad idea to see what people around you think. But you should pick a name because you love it, not because of what everybody else thinks of it.

(Typical Democracy! Ask everyone what they think and finally decide what exactly you want to do!!)

A person's name is truly a lifetime gift, and it helps define your child - within the family, to friends, at school and to the outside world. If you consider the options carefully and select with love, you really can't go wrong.

There are rumours that I was named by the doctor where my mother delivered. The doctor wanted to write a prescription for me and he needed to write the name of the 'patient'. So, he wrote Manoharan. I don't think he considered this name carefully. Nor did he select with love.

But, I don't think anything went wrong. I mean, I can't just blame my name for the problems; there are other reasons ....

Needed Wedding Guests

Read an interesting news item recently.

An Ukrainian bride whose family and friends cannot make it to her wedding in Britain has advertised for 'decent' guests to attend the ceremony in their place. She even needs a bridesmaid. She has posted an advertisement online saying that only her parents can be at her wedding in London and she needs 30 people to fill her side of the church.

“I am having a large mixed wedding of about 150 people. My partner has loads of family around to invite to the wedding. Unfortunately, my family are all in Ukraine,” said the advertisement.

I just compare this sad prospect of not having even 30 guests from 'your side' of the family with the situation in India. We used to have such elaborate weddings some years ago that it is an event no couple will be able to forget easily. All those long winding rituals were so nice to read, though I personally would not have agreed to subject myself to all that just to amuse all the hundreds around. Anyway, here are some details how a traditional brahmin wedding got celebrated those days. I came across these nice illustrations in a website some time ago and thought you will enjoy reading it.

KASI YATRA

The groom wearing a new chappal holding an umbrella and a walking stick proceeds on his yatra to Kasi. The father of the girl intercepts him offering his girl in marriage and bring him to Grahasth Ashramam.

EXCHANGE OF GARLANDS

The boy and the girl then exchange fresh flower garlands usually helped by their uncles lifting them bodily.

SWING

The boy and girl then sit in a swing; ladies sing songs and greet the couples. The event adds festivity to the occasion.

MANGALYA DHARANAM

The most precious moment in one's life. The bride sits on her father's lap. The groom ties the mangalya sutra around the bride's neck with prayers for his well being and for her to live hundred years.

PANI GRAHANAM

The bride groom holds the bride's right hand and recites the marriage vows in four mantras. He prays Agri (the God of fire), Saraswathi (the Goddess of knowledge) and Vayu (the lord Wind for blessings, long life and congruence of mind.

SAPTHAPATHI

The groom takes the right big toe of the bride in his right hand and walks her seven steps. At each step he seeks a blessing for the bride. The marriage gets completed. The manthras recited mean: "You have become my companion, whereby I acquire your friendship. We shall remain together inseparable. Let us make a vow together, we shall share love, share the same food, share the strengths. We shall be of the same mind, we shall observe the vows together."

NALUNGU

During Nalungu, the ladies sing songs poking fun at the bridegroom and the in-laws. These events bring out many qualities of the bride and the groom-sporting spirit, kindness, strength, co-operative nature etc.

Shortage of 30-guests? No way. We normally have the 'problem of plenty' only!!

Glorified Cattle Market

It is that time of the year once again. The Indian Premier League auction of world's cricketers. Last year, everyone was amazed at Symonds' luck - he fetched 1.35 million dollars. No one knows where he is now. Dropped from the australian side, censured for indiscipline and getting psychiatric help etc. Now, this year, England's Flintoff and Pieterson fetched the maximum amount. 1.55 million dollars! Both immediately told the press, "it is an amazing amount of money. Unimaginable. Can't wait to go and play out there!". And, promptly England lost their ongoing test match in Carribean in a humiliating fashion - an innings and 23 runs! Their minds are not where it should be; seeing dollars doesn't help focus on the bat and ball on the field. Serves them right.
Read a wonderful article by David Hopps on this issue today. Here it is:

"Thanks to the parlous state of the British pound, one woke up on Saturday to discover that Flintoff and Pietersen had become the world's first £ 1 million cricketers. If they had been sold this time last year, we might all have shrugged and said:'Yes, well, it might well be a record, but it is only worth £ 800000.' But, now, they are million pound cricketers. Something to cheer about?

The IPL, as its administrators like to boast, is a classic example of the free market. You are paid what someone thinks you are worth. It is just that, in the free market, no one has a clue any more what anything - or anyone - is really worth. The financial services company Barclays were valued £15bn at the start of November, but only about £ 4bn last week as shareholders sold in droves.

In fact, it would be far more fun if cricketers were turned into public companies, with their value ruled entirely by their share price. Then, if Pietersen slogged one up in the air on 97 or Flintoff got out early, you could not only curse at the TV screen, but get on the phone and ring your broker.
The IPL is a glorified cattle market. The players go where they are told (sold?). They should all be forced to turn up, stand in a pen and then trail out after their Indian owner, gently mooing."

As free market is falling apart in all other fields, let us hope that it will fall apart in Cricket also soon.

Wife is Away (or indisposed)

Durga went to attend a wedding in Mettupalayam yesterday. She will be out of the house for about 40 hours, I think. But, you can imagine how much she needed to prepare me for this absence. And, a whole lot of instructions about closing doors and keeping things outside the house and collecting things from others and giving things to others and what not. An indicator of my total dependence. (I can give a positive spin to this by saying, "I have totally surrendered myself to her'!!)

With all these instructions, I still will mess up. Have done already. Breakfast plans went for a six, when I realised only at 8.45 AM that I need to cook and had to go out by 9.15! The ability of husbands to follow the instructions of the wives is best illustrated by this cartoon below.

On top of it, I get invited by friends for dinner - now that Durga is not around. The wives of Gudalur have always complained that the same treatment is not given to them when the husbands go out of station! A good point to ponder about.

Even when they are not well or indisposed, they get double punishment from the husband. Having to give instructions and then having to eat the horrible stuff they finally make! God will have a tough time deciding who prayed harder - the husband or the wife - that the wife should become well soon. Here is another one on this.

What will husbands do if there were no wives around? In our hospital team, once all the nurses and office staff went on an excursion to Trivandrum. Almost all of them were women. That day, all the husbands tried their hand in running their respective homes and in getting their kids ready for school.

The teacher in the school that day remarked, "I can tell you which are the mothers who have gone on this excursion. Just by looking at the hairstyle of the girl kids in the school today..!" How true!

Staff or Cows

Another gem from Dilbert. If some of you have failed to see it when it was first published, click on the image or here to see it in a new window.

Laughter is the best medicine

When I had fever, Abirami sent a joke saying laughter is the best medicine. My God, she is seriously thinking of becoming a doctor. If she does, here is how she will treat the patients:


Patient : “Doctor, I am not feeling well.”
Abirami : “What is up?”
Patient : “I am having head-ache for the last 3 days.”
Abirami : “Okay, now listen to this joke. One day, there was this young boy who wanted some ....”

(After 10 minutes, the Patient will go out rolling with laughter. Headache?)

Abirami : “Next..”

New Patient comes.

Patient2 : “Doctor, I am fine now. But, I feel feverish every day in the night.”
Abirami : “How about mornings?”
Patient2 : “ I feel perfectly fine during the rest of the day...”
Abirami : “Okay fine. It is called the Gloom of the evening hour. Here is a book called 'The Best Collected Jokes for gloomy days'. Read it whenever you feel feverish and keep it below the pillow when you sleep. You will feel better.”
Patient2 : “Thank you doctor. When should I come back?”
Abirami : “Come back after a week. If things don't improve, I will change the medication. Will give you another book called 'All Time Great jokes to lift your spirits'!

Dr.Abirami is going to be fun.

Total Shut Down on 22nd

From about 7 PM on 21st, my system was shut down completely for about 22 hours. For maintenance purposes. No, No, I didn't mean my computer. But, my body system.I had an excuse of cold, fever and headache. So, went to bed at about 7 PM without dinner. But, for brushing and having a cup of tea on 22nd morning, I didn't do anything, eat anything almost for a day. Slept almost continuously. That time, I thought I was thinking about many things, not just sleeping. But, now, I do not remember what I was thinking. So, probably, things were only in the RAM, the temporary memory, but were saved in my hard disk, the brain?

But, one dream I remember from that time. There was a meeting Mr.Obama and his wife and children were attending with all their White House staff. The old office / administrative staff were telling the new presidential couple all the protocols and procedures in white house. Issues like 'where you will be sitting in dinner table with visiting dignatories', 'if the President of so-and-so country comes with wife, here is the procedure', 'if the visiting head of state is unmarried or a widow, this is how it is', 'if he comes with a girl friend, then this is where Michelle will be sitting and this is where you must sit' and all that sort of thing. How I got this dream I don't know. Delirium?

By evening of 22nd, things were looking better and thought 'enough is enough'. Got up, had dinner and of course, went off to sleep again at 8.00 PM. 23rd was normal enough.

I strongly advise everyone on this complete shut-down for maintenance purposes technique to recharge themselves. Try doing nothing for a day and see if it helps.

PS: Do computers dream when we shut them down? May not be about obamas, but probably about some bites and files?

Big Bucks

In the 'Know your English' section of the newspaper, I read recently a nice thing. I am hoping that most of you will be as unaware of this fact and hence will be interested.

Why is money referred to as 'bucks'?

"There was a time when the term bucks was only used to refer to the American dollar. Nowadays, the word is used to refer to money in general. The invention of paper money is a recent phenomenon. In the old days, when people wanted to buy something, they ususally traded or bartered what they had. When a hunter wanted grain from a farmer, he usually traded animal skin or dried meat for it.
The term 'buck' is actually the short form of 'buckskin'. A buck, as you know, is a male deer; 'buckskin' therefore is the skin of this deer. Hunters, when they did business made use of 'buckskins'. Later on, with the passage of time, the word 'buckskin' in everyday conversation was shortened to 'buck'. When paper money was introduced much later, people continued to call it 'buck'."

I thought, it was a nice and interesting piece of news. What are the other interesting things we can use as money these days? As Kids, of course, we valued marbles, match boxes, soda bottle caps, smooth pebbles etc. as money - in fact, more valuable than money. In the college, I have read in the Economics book how cigarettes were used by priosoners in a big jail like money.


Instead of the green, blue and red sheets of paper, more interesting things like this will be nice. But, I guess, these days we don't have to see even the money. It is just some digital numbers in the computer screen or in email attachments from the bank?

On another note, why is Gandhi punished by printing his face in all the Indian rupees? What is the logic and rationale for putting the Father of our Nation on our currency?

Visit Musings daily

Now there is a nice reason why you must visit musings daily. Don't know if you noticed; but I have inserted a 'Funny quote' of the day in the right panel on top. It will be changed every day. So, even if I have not added any new posts, you will be rewarded with these nice quotes, I am sure.

I find them quite nice and funny. Do you?

Team of Rivals

World is waiting for the annointment of Barrack Obama as the new President of USA. Left wing economists have already started writing how his action plans are not measuring upto his rhetoric of change and hope. Let us wait and see. Anyway, he would be better than a Republican administration, let us hope.


But, one of the ideas I liked to read during this campaign was the concept of 'Team of Rivals'. When he was considering Hillary as his Secretary of State, comparisons with Lincoln appeared in the press on this issue. It seems, Lincoln believed in this concept and it was his political genius to coin this word. As I was quite interested to learn more, searched and found about a book called 'Team of Rivals' by Doris Kearns Goodwin. Some excerpts from the book here. Though long, I thought it is interesting to share with everyone.

"Team of Rivals" (an apt but uninspiring title) opens in May 1860 with four men awaiting news from the national convention of the Republican Party in Chicago. Thousands of supporters were gathered in Auburn, N.Y., where a cannon was primed to fire a salute to the expected nomination of Senator William Henry Seward for president. In Columbus, Ohio, Gov. Salmon P. Chase hoped that if Seward faltered, the mantle would fall on his shoulders. In St. Louis, 66-year-old Edward Bates, a judge who still called himself a Whig, hoped the convention might turn to him as the only candidate who could carry the conservative free states, whose electoral votes were necessary for a Republican victory. In Springfield, Ill., a former one-term congressman who had been twice defeated for election to the Senate waited with resigned expectation that his long-shot candidacy would be flattened by the Seward steamroller.

From left, Edward Bates, attorney general;

William H. Seward, secretary of state;
Edwin M. Stanton, secretary of war;
Salmon P. Chase, Treasury secretary.

Having set the stage for the nominating convention, Goodwin recounts the drama of Lincoln's surprising first-ballot strength (102 votes to Seward's 173½, Chase's 49, and Bates's 48). On the second ballot Lincoln pulled almost even with Seward, and amid rising excitement in a convention hall packed with a leather-lunged home-state cheering section, he won a stunning victory on the third ballot. All three of his shocked rivals believed the better man had lost. Lincoln's subsequent election as president did not change their minds.

The Republican victory without a single electoral vote (and scarcely any popular votes) from the 15 slave states provoked seven of them to secede and form the Confederate States of America. In this crisis, Lincoln took the unparalleled step of appointing to his cabinet all three of his rivals plus a fourth, Simon Cameron, Pennsylvania's favorite son. Seward got the top spot as secretary of state; Chase became secretary of the Treasury, Bates attorney general and Cameron secretary of war. Could this "team of rivals," each of them initially convinced of his superiority to the inexperienced president, work together in harmony? Joseph Medill, the editor of The Chicago Tribune and one of Lincoln's most loyal supporters, later asked the president why he had made these appointments. "We needed the strongest men of the party in the cabinet," Lincoln replied. "These were the very strongest men. Then I had no right to deprive the country of their services." They were indeed strong men, Goodwin notes. "But in the end, it was the prairie lawyer from Springfield who would emerge as the strongest of them all."

Seward at first shared the widespread assumption that he would be the "premier" of the administration. During the tense weeks between Lincoln's inauguration on March 4, 1861, and the eruption of war on April 12, when Confederate guns fired on Fort Sumter, Seward recommended that Lincoln withdraw the troops from Sumter and then worked to undermine the president's determination to hold and resupply the fort. This tug of war climaxed with Seward's notorious memorandum to Lincoln complaining that the administration was "without a policy either domestic or foreign." Seward proposed to abandon Fort Sumter while reinforcing Fort Pickens (at Pensacola) to preserve "the symbolism of federal authority." Seward also suggested an ultimatum to provoke war with Spain or France over their violations of the Monroe Doctrine as a way to reunite the country. "Whatever policy we adopt," Seward declared, "either the President must do it himself . . . or devolve it on some member of his Cabinet. . . . I neither seek to evade nor assume responsibility."


Such a bald-faced challenge would have justified Seward's dismissal. But Lincoln did not want to worsen the crisis by breaking up his administration after less than a month in office. So he responded in a manner that would become his hallmark in dealing with recalcitrant but important subordinates, generals or senators: a firm assertion of his own policy and responsibility for it, done in such a way as to avoid a personal rebuff that might create an enemy. Lincoln wrote a response to Seward that reiterated his intention to resupply Sumter, ignored the suggestion of an ultimatum to Spain or France and insisted that whatever policy was decided on, "I must do it." Thinking that this written response might be too cold, Lincoln did not send it but instead spoke personally with Seward.

Several weeks later Lincoln again overruled Seward by softening the tone of what Goodwin accurately describes as a "surly" and "abrasive" dispatch warning Britain against recognition of the Confederacy. By this time Seward had begun to see the light. "It is due to the president to say, that his magnanimity is almost superhuman," he wrote. "The president is the best of us."

Lincoln grew closer to Seward than to any other member of his administration. They spent many relaxing hours together (Seward lived a block from the White House) swapping political anecdotes and other stories, and Seward became one of the president's most loyal and effective supporters. He frequently praised Lincoln publicly as "the best and wisest man he [had] ever known."

Attorney General Bates, who initially underestimated Lincoln, soon echoed Seward's favorable opinions. Not so Chase, who never quite got over his conviction that the wrong man was nominated in 1860 and that he should receive the nomination in 1864. Lincoln valued his Treasury secretary's abilities as a finance minister, but he recognized Chase's lack of loyalty and poorly concealed ambition to replace him. Chase also became a lightning rod for the radical Republicans' dissatisfaction with the pace of Lincoln's actions against slavery.

On several occasions Chase offered his resignation in a calculated effort to force Lincoln's hand on a policy or patronage dispute. Each time Lincoln parried Chase's tactic, refusing to accept his resignation, reasserting his own authority and maintaining the balance among radicals, moderates and conservatives in the administration. When Chase tried this ploy a fourth time in June 1864, after Lincoln had been safely renominated, the president astonished him by accepting the resignation. To redress the cabinet balance, Lincoln subsequently requested the resignation of Postmaster General Montgomery Blair, Chase's most bitter enemy in the cabinet and a member of the powerful Blair family, which represented the most conservative element in the party. And Lincoln further defused radical opposition by appointing the deposed Chase as chief justice of the United States.

AS these internal Republican feuds suggest, the party in the 1860's was a coalition of politicians who only a few years earlier had been Whigs (Lincoln, Seward, Bates), Democrats (Blair, Secretary of the Navy Gideon Welles and Vice President Hannibal Hamlin), Free Soilers (Chase), or had flirted with the short-lived anti-immigrant American Party, or Know Nothings (Cameron and Bates). In addition, several cabinet members personally disliked each other: Blair and Chase, Seward and Welles, Chase and Seward, Blair and Secretary of War Edwin M. Stanton, who replaced Cameron in January 1862. Lincoln's "political genius" enabled him to herd these political cats and keep them driving toward ultimate victory.

How did he do it? Goodwin deals with this question better than any other writer. Part of the answer lay in Lincoln's steadfastness of purpose, which inspired subordinates to overcome their petty rivalries. Part of it lay in his superb sense of timing and his sensitivity to the pulse of public opinion as he moved to bring along a divided people to the support of "a new birth of freedom." And part of it lay in Lincoln's ability to rise above personal slights, his talent for getting along with men of clashing ideologies and personalities who could not get along with each other.

This temperament was best illustrated by Lincoln's relationship with Stanton, which Goodwin analyzes with great insight. In 1855 Lincoln had been retained as one of the attorneys for the defense in a patent-infringement suit brought by the McCormick reaper company. Because the case was initially scheduled to be tried in Chicago, the defense team needed an Illinois lawyer. But when the trial was moved to Cincinnati, the defense retained Stanton, one of the country's foremost attorneys, without bothering to inform Lincoln. When he arrived in Cincinnati after careful preparation, Stanton and his colleagues ignored him; Stanton was even heard to speak contemptuously of Lincoln as a backwoods bumpkin. Lincoln was hurt by the snub but stayed to watch the trial and was impressed by Stanton's courtroom brilliance. Six years later Stanton, a Democrat, was practicing in Washington during the war's first year and referred disdainfully to Lincoln in conversations with friends. Lincoln was aware of Stanton's opinions, but when he decided to get rid of the incompetent Cameron, who had made a hash of military mobilization, he appointed none other than Stanton as secretary of war.

Stanton soon justified the appointment. He worked 15-hour days at his stand-up desk and proved to be one of the best war secretaries the country has ever had. And like Seward, he soon changed his opinion of Lincoln, forging a close relationship with the president second only to Seward's. "No men were ever so deceived as we at Cincinnati," Stanton confessed to his former associate on the reaper case. No one was more grief-stricken by Lincoln's assassination than Stanton, who spoke the imperishable words as the president breathed his last: "Now he belongs to the ages." Lincoln's private secretary and confidant John Hay subsequently wrote to Stanton: "Not everyone knows, as I do, how close you stood to our lost leader, how he loved you and trusted you, and how vain were all the efforts to shake that trust and confidence."

Quite an amazing thing to do. When we have read only about the 'divide and rule' policies of political leaders, this team of rivals sounds quite a promising and inspiring story. Can Obama emulate Lincoln in this aspect?

Jail or Bail

Read an interesting news item two days ago. I was so curious about it that I thought of sharing it with everyone through musings. Here it is:

"The Madras High Court on Friday ordered conditional bail for 40 students arrested in connection with two separate incidents - one incident pertained to the clash at the law college, the other related to an attack on police in May 2007.

In his order, the judge said that petitioners had been in jail for more than 55 days. The relatives had filed an affidavit that they would take care of the petitioners. The students can be released on bail, but he directed that the petitioners should go to any public library every Saturday and Sunday; read good books for two hours for four weeks. They should submit a report to the court about what they had read."

Wow, what a judgement. A 'punishment' to the erring students, in the true sense of 'judgement'. I liked to read the line about the relatives standing guarantee for their wards. When the profession of law is falling day by day in my eyes, this small news item kindled some hope. Some technical people may find fault with this judgement; or the higher court may quash it. But, the spirit behind the judgement is worth studying for conflict resolution and to nudge wrong-doers towards reform.

But, how is the judge going to ensure that our boys went to the libraries and read 'good' books? If the students are forced to follow it, probably, they may even feel that being out on bail is more 'punishing' than being in jail itself!!

Please God, let us have bye-elections!!

The prayer of every voter in Tamilnadu now is, "Please God, let us have bye-elections in our constituency. All because of the wonderful way the political parties took care of the needs of the voters in the Thirumangalam constituency near Madurai! As I type this blog, it is announced that DMK party's candidate won the election. That is immaterial, all the voters seemed to have gained quite a lot much before the results were announced!

As I was losing hope on parliamentary democracy, and even was wondering about the merits of American kind of presidency (more about it later), came the news about the way our major Tamil political parties attended to the numerous needs of the voters of Thirumangalam.

Money and materials were doled out like anything to all the voters. We have heard earlier about money being distributed on the eve of the elections. But, this time, party functionaries went far far beyond all that. It was a festival and people were "taken care of" in all aspects. Women getting sarees, Men getting dhotis, younger generation went for mobile phones. Of course, men got tokens which they can 'encash' it in liquor shops.

Families got food free for a few days. The only thing, it seemed, is to wait for someone to come home canvassing for votes. There is a rumour that women got laddus, with a golden nosering hidden in some laddus. Lucky ones will get it.

On the election day, things reached the climax. All the party functionaries were sporting new clothes, went from house to house (later from booth to booth), invited people to come to the polling stations with traditional 'arathi', bindhi (kumkumam), sandal paint, betel leaves and what not - with a wide grin requesting them to vote for their candidate. Vehicles plied all through the day carrying voters from their house to the polling stations, and back.

After voting also, the voters may be tired. So, they were given tokens with which they can buy food and cool drinks, for free.

Power of a vote! I feel, there are some lessons from this entire episode for policy makers worried about rural development. The election commission officials tried to play spoilsport briefly - by making noise about parties giving money and all that sort of rot. Instead, they should make it a policy to use elections for the benefit of the voters.

They must schedule elections in such a way that political parties are given time to 'attend' to the needs of the people - one after the other. They should not hold elections in all the constituencies in one shot. The poorer the area, the later should it be or should happen a few months before the national elections - like it happened in Thirumangalam. Because, there are quite a few reports of women having enough money now given by the parties there that they got back many of their mortaged items and jewels from banks. The cooperative banks' records there vouch for this.

I am sure the voters of Thirumangalam will be missing terribly the buzz of the elections from now onwards - and their only hope for the future will be to have one more such bye-election! I am completely with them in their prayers....

Satyam and Corporate Governance

When I wrote my blog last month about Satyam and ironically, it getting the award for best corporate governance, I did not realise that it is going to be such a big fraud. It was a bolt from the blue for the corporate India.


Things are falling apart one after the other for the Corporate world. Governments are anxious to rush to the aid of the ailing companies and its failed executives. Very rightly there are articles which ask "where is the bailout package for the poor?". There is no doubt the resultant unemployment and drop in economic indices of the country are something to worry about. But, isn't our media and the entire 'thinking public' giving disproportionately high attention to this sector, compared to the big economic problems faced by poor people in different parts of the world?

I really liked Jayati Ghosh, the economist of JNU, Delhi raising an important question. "Why are food prices dropping now? All those allegations about India and China consuming more food being the reason for rise in food prices - what happened to this logic?"

Somehow, it sounded as if the corporate world's speculative tendencies are the reason for the food prices, though she didn't mention in so many words. Can we just say that when corporate world does not play around with food items, the prices will remain sane? I think so.

Stan mentioned that the foundation of corporate world is devoid of morality - that is the fundamental problem with world economy today. I completely agree.
When you club the mass-hysteria of mass-media and the pressure to show positive results quarter after quarter, we will get results only like Satyam. Everyone is paying for the greed associated with investments in stock market.

I am sure, now, we will pause a bit?

Laws of Nature

All of us are well aware of Newton's three Laws. (Or, is it four...?) Here are some which he seemed to have forgotten to mention while compiling his universal laws of nature. PGP sent it.

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
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LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
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LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
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LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
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LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
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BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
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LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
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LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
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LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
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THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
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LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
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Have you formulated any more scientific and universal laws like this?

New Year starts badly

The New Year didn't start nicely. Vijayendran, one of my colleagues died suddenly on 30th. Heart Attack. Can't believe and can't yet digest the shock. He was just 37. Married and two small kids.

It was all over in less than 5 minutes, we were told. So, that is all to it. A bit pointless to plan things and fight over small things in life!

Whatever is to be done, if it is good, do it today and now. If it is bad, postpone it just by a day. May be, we will not be there to do it!

Depression right now.

Low Cost Perks

As promised, here are some excerpts from an article on Low Cost Perks that can highly motivate employees.

"Companies can have unique ways of making their employees feel special and fostering team building and bonding; and all this while it hardly costs them anything!

Employee perks today, are not just related to monetary benefits, but go all the way to making your employees feel special and showing that you do care for them! Studies reveal that more than 75% of employees working in mediocre paying paying jobs find happiness in perks that need not necessarily be in the form of money. Here is a list of some great low-cost ways to reward performers with perks.

Work-from-home days : Give them a break from office, but not from work! Try allowing your employees to work from home. Ease out job burnouts.

Discounts : Employees love it if they can indulge their family in some great shopping experience. There is nothing like making your employee's family happy!

Occasions : The annual closing, new year and other festivals can become an excuse for some fun and frolic, and bonding as well.

Movie Mania : A movie-day once a month will do more good than harm. Double the benefit by screening inspiring movies that could leave the employees entertained and also boost their spirits.
Free Seminars, Paid Training ... the list can go on and on."

Sounds nice. But, when I realise that the underlying motive all these is to get employees perform better, it leaves a sour taste in my mind. Would be happy if we genuinely just want the employees feel better and stay happy. Period. No talk about efficiency and better output and all that.

I wonder what sort of non-monetary perks I am getting right now. And, what sort of things will keep me motivated? In my younger days, I might have said, 'to be posted in an all-girls department'. 'Having very good colleagues' is a good reason in Gudalur. Mostly all of us are hard working and genuine, I think. Having a good sense of humour is the bonus!

Excuses - Grade I

There is a thin line between excuses and lies, don't you think? We have all heard about the child which did not want to come to the school exam the next day, saying "I am going to have stomach ache tomorrow...". But, adults are no better. Read this below:

Lot of unwanted dogs turn up at the doorstep of Britain's biggest dog welfare charity. With some Grade-I excuses. They have released the Top 10 dubious reasons its staff has heard over the past year for dumping dogs at one of its shelters.

"My dog does not match the sofa," topped the list, followed by: "The dog looks evil and has different coloured eyes ..."

"My black dog does not match the new white carpet. Can we swap him for a white dog?", was at number three.

Other excuses: "My pet guinea pig got worried with a dog in the house."

I think, the best was, "The dog opened all the gifts on Christmas Eve". Creative they are, these dog-dumpers! This dog below is in trouble. If the owners change the carpet, he has to go!


One of the legendary reasons we have heard from an adivasi child in our area for why she did not go to school is this : "The elephant ate up my school!". It seems, the elephant had actually eaten the roof of the small school built in the village. Head ache and fever are quite normal and unconvincing. Terror attack or heavy floods etc. look quite crude. But, "a wild elephant was standing along the way, so I could not come", sounds quite cute.

What is the most creative excuse you have invented in the last one year? Me? I never had to invent excuses, because I am totally honest!

How is this for an excuse?

Satyam and Golden Peacock

A very interesting thing happened in Corporate India this week. India's fourth-largest IT services provider, "Satyam Computer Services" had proposed to acquire Maytas Properties and Maytas Infra, companies controlled and run by the promoter family, for $1.6 billion (around Rs 7,680 crore).
While Satyam is an IT company, the companies proposed for acquisition were real estate ones. And, they were owned by the Promoters of Satyam. The Board took the decision to acquire these companies whose business was totally unrelated to the core business of Satyam, saying that it needs to diversify.

But, the company was forced to reverse the decision just within a day following strong shareholder protests that saw its stock price fall 30 per cent on the Bombay Stock Exchange (BSE). Shareholders felt that they were not informed of this before hand; were not happy that cash available with the cash-rich IT company should go to a cash-strapped real estate sector company. In short, they lost confidence in the company's management.

Neither the move of the Board to reverse its acquisition deal nor the corporate governance principle of “delighting (the) stakeholder”, as stated on the company’s website, did anything to restore investor confidence. Shareholders started selling off the stocks and the shares fell by 30%. Satyam saw Rs 4,610 crore wiped off its market capitalisation and several analyst firms have rated the company as a “sell”.

"Yesterday’s developments have eroded investor trust in the management and the board to take the company forward,” said a note from Religare Capital Markets.

And, the irony of all this is that Satyam was awarded the Golden Peacock award for Best Corporate Governance practice for the year 2008! (Now, the jury which awarded it to Satyma will have to answer some questions too!!)

It is quite interesting to me to note this 'shareholder activism' in corporate governance. Can the same be replicated in our political governance as well? Can we have an Indian Polity Stock Exchange or something like that, which can be a barometer of the confidence of the general public in the Government? If the government takes a wrong decision and the IPSE index falls dramatically, then probably, it will be reversed soon?

But, the only problem is the already crazy mass media will go berserk. Each small thing will be a Judgement Day. It is too risky to assume that the TV watching public can be responsible citizens with long term interests of the country in mind. I guess, once in 5 years elections are good enough.

Stock market indices are as flimsy an indicator like the Golden Peacock Award in any case ...