Serial Killers of Tamilnadu

Sometime ago, I had written that Alcoholism is the biggest killer in our country - compared to any other diseases or evils. But, of late, I am forced to reconsider that view. There is one even bigger killer in Tamilnadu. Visiting everyone's house day after day. Poisoning people to become brain dead. They are the Serial Killers of Tamilnadu.

I mean the Tamil Television serials that invade each and every household that has TV day after day. They too target the mind like Alcohol and make it numb, non-responsive and make people an addict over a period of time. But, these serial killers are more dangerous because this addiction does not even have the social sanction that alcohol is faced with; and hence is affecting the entire family in the centre of the household! At least, the effect of alcohol may wear out after some time; but these television serials leave a permanent effect in our minds.

What effect am I talking about?

First of all, these serials make one believe that there are only two kinds of people - those who cheat and whose who get cheated. Nothing in between and no normal people at all. No wonder why people lose faith in humanity these days.

Second, there is no normal event happens in life. Like people happily going out or eating together or joking or playing or whatever. All the time everyone is scheming to do some harm to others or to take revenge. Increase in mental illnesseses like depression in our society can be directly linked to these serial killers, I am sure.

Third, and the most obnoxious of all, is that the villains of all these serial killers are people within the household - not those gangsters or farway aliens or rich tycoons or underworld dons or anything. It will be just your mother or sister in law or a brother or a neighbour. All possible normal relationships are targeted and are portrayed as the bad ones. They are especially harsh on women - ironically because, most of the viewers are supposed to be women. As a recent cartoon in a Tamil newspaper said, "these serial makers should be punished under Prevention of Atrocities to Women"!

People in their most heinous avatars or everything about our bad qualities in the most pronounced form! If they keep visiting you day after day, you would feel that people will hate them. But, everyone plans all their activities based on the timings of these serials - finish everything before 'Mekala' starts, do that one after 'Selvi' is finished, can we finish this lesson between 'Idayam' and 'Kasthuri', I will call you after 'Arasi' is over - etc., and are extremely eager to invite these serial killers.

I am damn worried about the future of Tamil society.

Decision Making - Case Study 1

A case study to show how we make decisions in life and what are the consequences of it.

A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused.
Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track.

The train is coming, and you are just beside the track interchange. You can make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?

Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make.

Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess. Exactly, to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally. But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place?

Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was. This kind of dilemma happens around us every day. In the office, community, in politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are.

The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.

The great critic Leo Velski Julian who told the story said he would not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard
the train's sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track!

Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.

While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one.

What would you have done?

Difference between Heaven and Hell

Read this nice story, explaining the simple difference between Heaven and Hell. I am sure, you will enjoy it.

A holy man was having a conversation with God one day and said, "God , I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like."

God led the holy man to two doors.

He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished.

They were holding spoons with very long handles, that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful..

But because the handle was longer than their arms and tied to their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

God said, 'You have seen Hell.'

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one.

There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water.

The people were equiped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, "I don't understand .."

"It is simple," said God . 'This is the difference between Heaven and Hell. It requires but one skill."

"You see, these people in Heaven have learned to feed each other, while the greedy in the hell think only of themselves."

Wonderful, isn't it?

This is also a classic short story! Simple knot, keeps the interest, there is a conflict and the knot is resolved at the last possible sentence! Classic definition of a short story.

But, recently came across another good definition for Heaven and Hell. Rather, what is the difference between these two. Read this T-Shirt!

What is Intelligence, anyway?

This is a brilliant piece written by Isaac Asimov. Thanks Nambi for sharing this. After receiving it, I have been constantly musing about it and also sharing it with many people - especially with teachers and education related people. Thought should share it with all the millions of people who are hanging on to my lips in this blog too! So, here it is, Mr.Asimov.

"What is intelligence, anyway? When I was in the army, I received the kind of aptitude test that all soldiers took and, against a normal of 100, scored 160. No one at the base had ever seen a figure like that, and for two hours they made a big fuss over me. (It didn't mean anything. The next day I was still a buck private with KP - kitchen police - as my highest duty.)


All my life I've been registering scores like that, so that I have the complacent feeling that I'm highly intelligent, and I expect other people to think so too. Actually, though, don't such scores simply mean that I am very good at answering the type of academic questions that are considered worthy of answers by people who make up the intelligence tests - people with intellectual bents similar to mine?

For instance, I had an auto-repair man once, who, on these intelligence tests, could not possibly have scored more than 80, by my estimate. I always took it for granted that I was far more intelligent than he was.

Yet, when anything went wrong with my car I hastened to him with it, watched him anxiously as he explored its vitals, and listened to his pronouncements as though they were divine oracles - and he always fixed my car.

Well, then, suppose my auto-repair man devised questions for an intelligence test. Or suppose a carpenter did, or a farmer, or, indeed, almost anyone but an academician. By every one of those tests, I'd prove myself a moron, and I'd be a moron, too.

In a world where I could not use my academic training and my verbal talents but had to do something intricate or hard, working with my hands, I would do poorly.

My intelligence, then, is not absolute but is a function of the society I live in and of the fact that a small subsection of that society has managed to foist itself on the rest as an arbiter of such matters.

Consider my auto-repair man, again. He had a habit of telling me jokes whenever he saw me. One time he raised his head from under the automobile hood to say: "Doc, a deaf-and-mute guy went into a hardware store to ask for some nails. He put two fingers together on the counter and made hammering motions with the other hand. "The clerk brought him a hammer. He shook his head and pointed to the two fingers he was hammering. The clerk brought him nails. He picked out the sizes he wanted, and left.

Well, doc, the next guy who came in was a blind man. He wanted scissors. How do you suppose he asked for them?" Indulgently, I lifted by right hand and made scissoring motions with my first two fingers.

Whereupon my auto-repair man laughed raucously and said, "Why, you dumb jerk, He used his voice and asked for them." Then he said smugly, "I've been trying that on all my customers today." "Did you catch many?" I asked. "Quite a few," he said, "but I knew for sure I'd catch you."

"Why is that?" I asked. "Because you're so god damned educated, doc, I knew you couldn't be very smart."

And I have an uneasy feeling he had something there."

It will be fun, if the rules of the game in this world somehow gets changed and we are back to the historic or pre-historic days, but with all our 'intelligence' intact. It will be great to see who will be the knowledge expert then, and who will be the most-sought after consultants etc.

Tribes: Different kinds

'Communities' are the in-thing these days. From being called Yahoo-groups or google-groups, people connected with each other through Facebook and Twitter call themselves 'communities'. Each software or computer application that is being developed jointly by many people etc. have their own communities - Dabo community, ExtJS community. And, above all, you have the OpenSource community.

We are also part of many such communities. So, it is good to read this post. Anita recommended this book - "Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us", by Seth Godin.

This is from the blurb from that book:

"A tribe is any group of people, large or small, who are connected to one another, a leader, and an idea. For millions of years, humans have been seeking out tribes, be they religious, ethnic, economic, political, or even musical (think of the Deadheads). It's our nature.


Now the Internet has eliminated the barriers of geography, cost, and time. All those blogs and social networking sites are helping existing tribes get bigger. But more important, they're enabling countless new tribes to be born - groups of ten or ten thousand or ten million who care about their iPhones, or a political campaign, or a new way to fight global warming. And so the key question: Who is going to lead us?

The Web can do amazing things, but it can't provide leadership. That still has to come from individuals - people just like you who have a passion about something. The explosion in tribes means that anyone who wants to make a difference now has the tools at her fingertips. If you think leadership is for other people, think again - leaders come in surprising packages.

Consider Joel Spolsky and his international tribe of scary-smart software engineers. Or Gary Vaynerhuck, a wine expert with a devoted following of enthusiasts. Chris Sharma leads a tribe of rock climbers up impossible cliff faces, while Mich Mathews, a VP at Microsoft, runs her internal tribe of marketers from her cube in Seattle. All they have in common is the desire to change things, the ability to connect a tribe, and the willingness to lead.

If you ignore this opportunity, you risk turning into a "sheepwalker" - someone who fights to protect the status quo at all costs, never asking if obedience is doing you (or your organization) any good. Sheepwalkers don't do very well these days.

Tribes will make you think (really think) about the opportunities in leading your fellow employees, customers, investors, believers, hobbyists, or readers....It's not easy, but it's easier than you think."

Here's the free online audio book read by the author himself : http://bit.ly/15UXUc

Blog after death

Now that we are in the subject of death, let me warn you a thing or two about my death as well. Though many of you will be mighty relieved to know that there won't be any more of this musings non-sense, there will be one spooky thing.

As a person meticulously planning and organising all the things that are unimportant in life, I take care not to leave a big gap in my blog posts in Musings as well. So, I keep scheduling my blogs for at least two weeks in advance.

In other words, even after my death, I will continue to be a well-organised Ghost, I promise. So, after my official death, there will be two or three posts at least keeping all of you worried whether I continue to blog even after becoming spiritual. Don't worry, it is all just due to my 'organisation'. The blog posts will also die down soon - if you are lucky, within a week or so.

But, one thing I cannot guarantee. I am not aware of the technology prospects in the world-after; whether there will be internet connectivity in the heaven (I am sure of it, I will land up in heaven only) and if my blogger account can continue to be accessed from there.

Unfortunately for you, if the answer to the last two questions is YES, then you will continue to get spooky blog posts week after week after week .... Oh, no.

But, the computer addicts cannot live without typing things on the keyboard. Without air, Yes; but without internet connectivity, a big NO. We cannot live without computers even after death. See in the picture below, how some hardcore programmers had died painful deaths.

In case, you are not able to read the two tablets behind, the left one says, "performed an illegal operation and shut down". The right side one says, "the current version of oswald crumm has expired".

When I am a Grandfather

Now that I have mastered the art of being an irresponsible father, now it is time to set higher goals. How to be a similarly irresponsible (or even more irresponsible) grandfather. I have started preparing the materials required for the same. As all such researches these days seem to start with "literature survey", "study of secondary resources" or "internet search", I too did the same.

The first chapter is on "how to give important good advice that will help my grandkids". So, I am saving this from Pickles for future reference. Thought some of you will also be interested in this.




I wish my grandfather had also groomed me like this right from my childhood...

Guru - Dignified Death

Guru died.

Guru was my mother's dog in our village. Last month, when we had gone home, he died. He was not well and we don't know what was the reason. He didn't eat for three days; just walking around here and there. And, one afternoon, he went to the nearby garden and died. What a dignified death.

I thought, there is a lesson for me there. Do something useful till your last. But, when your time is up, take a couple of days to close the programmes and shut things down. And, quietly turn the machine off and lie down to sleep. No fuss, nothing. Terrific.

When I shared this thought with Premila, saying "Man has an important lesson to learn from dogs about 'Dignity in Death'", she retorted, "There are hundreds of lessons man can learn from dogs!"

How true. I wonder where crows and all those birds always circling around in the sky go to die.

Different perspectives

Children have quite different perspectives in life. Especially very different from their teachers.. not to mention parents! Even when they are ant kids...


When the teacher says "it is impossible to teach you anything" exasperatingly, who would have thought that it meant something like this! I know another interesting conversation as well. Between a boy coming back from his 1st day in the school.

Father : "How was it, son, your first day in the school?"
Son : "No good, Dad. This teacher is not good."
Father : "Why, what happened?"
Son : "She could not complete teaching me. She asked me to come to school again tomorrow...."

When do we lose all these perspectives while busy growing up?

Black is Beautiful

As mentioned in the last blog, the big cultural movement called 'Black is Beautiful' was an exciting one. Just to feed to your curiosity, here is an introduction straight from the wikipedia.

Black is beautiful is a cultural movement that began in the United States of America in the 1960s by African Americans. It later spread to much of the black world, most prominently in the writings of the Black Consciousness Movement of Steve Biko in South Africa. It aims to dispel the notion in many world cultures that black people's natural features such as skin color, facial features and hair are inherently ugly.

John Sweat Rock was the first to coin the phrase "black is beautiful" during a speech in 1858. The movement also encouraged men and women to stop straightening their hair and attempting to lighten or bleach their skin. The prevailing idea in American culture, perpetuated by the media, was that black features are less attractive or desirable than white features. The idea that blackness was ugly was highly damaging to the psyche of African Americans, manifesting itself as internalized racism. This idea even existed in black communities and led to practices such as paper bag parties.
Paper bag parties were 20th century African-American social events at which only individuals with complexions at least as light as the color of a brown paper bag were admitted. The term also refers to larger issues of class and caste within the African-American community.

Among other achievements, the "black is beautiful" movement was largely responsible for the popularity of the Afro hairstyle.

Even now the movement has not fully taken hold. According to figures compiled by the Essence market research team, African Americans spend 25 percent more of their disposable income on personal care products than the general population. Natural hair styles are still considered "somewhat rebellious" or "unkempt" in parts of the United States.

The central purpose of the movement was "to make African Americans totally and irreversibly proud of their racial and cultural heritage." During this movement, there were a few other topics addressed besides that of having black pride. Art became increasingly important because of a newly appreciated relationship between art and politics. Political struggles bring about art that can later be used to explain things.

Kwame Brathwaite, president of the National Council of Artists (NCA) New York chapter stated,

We came together to deal with the arts, to tie them to what was going on in Africa. We had the idea; you can’t divorce art from the struggle. As a result, artists were no longer artists, but the organizers of a movement. We replaced the word "negro" with "African". Another topic or perspective is that of "black nationalism". This principle introduces the idea of blacks having a totally separate society from whites.

Politics around Identity and Groups is quite interesting to learn. Anita wrote about a book called "Tribes : We need you to lead us". Will write about it sometime later.

Coloured people

It seems, this poem was written by an African kid and was nominated by UN as the best poem in 2006. Very poignant ... and, true.

When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in Sun, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black

And you white fellow
When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you grey
And you calling me colored??

One of the fascinating things I have heard about the african americans has been their 'Black is Beautiful' campaign. Have you all heard about it?

Never Underestimate a Malayali

I have heard different versions of this story - including even one on our Tamil superstar, Rajinikanth. But, this Mallu version is the best, as this seems to have been writeen by a Mallu as well. So, enjoy!!

Kuttappan the Great

Kuttappan is a Malayali working for a multinational company in Mumbai. Not well educated and he is working as a peon. Whenever Kuttappan hears somebody talk, he will come in between saying that I know that very well, I know him very well, like that.

One day Kuttappan's Boss, a foreign educated person & a North Indian was talking something about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Kuttappan was passing thru that way, suddenly he came in between saying that oh Arni he is my best friend. Kuttapan's boss laughed at him saying that how can u be a friend of Arnold Schwarzenegger, you are only a peon living in India. Kuttappan said if u wont believe its your problem, I cant help you.

Ok, The Manager said I am going on a trip to US next week you come as my assistant and we will go to Arnold's house and see what happens. Kuttappan agreed with a smile. A week after they landed in US. First they went to NY. Arnold was there in NY. They went to meet Arnold. Seeing Kuttappan Arnold ran towards Kuttappan and hugged him asking that hey Kuttappan long time, no see, where were you man? Kuttappan went with Arnold to have some coffee.
Boss was stunned. When Kuttappan came back the boss told him that we will go to Clinton's place. Let's find out whether u know him or not. Kuttappan agreed with a smile. At Clinton's home Clinton also did the same as Schwarzenegger asking that where were you my friend for long time? Kuttappan went to have tea with Clinton while the boss was sitting out side the gate

When Kuttappan came back, boss said I have to go to Vatican to get blessings from Pope John Paul, so u come with me. At the Vatican crowd from all over the world is waiting to see Pope John Paul. Kuttappan and his boss are also there. Boss asked Kuttappan, do you know Pope John Paul. Kuttappan said y not? Boss told Kuttappan that he will not believe this.
Kuttappan asked boss to wait for some time and went inside the crowd. After 15 minutes Kuttappan came on the balcony along with Pope John Paul. Pope John Paul was holding Kuttappan's hand. Kuttappan's boss became unconscious and fell down.When Kuttappan came back his boss was on a stretcher by his side nurses and paramedics. Kuttappan asked Sir what happened.

Then boss told; Kuttappa u know Arnold I believe, u know Clinton I believe and u know Pope John Paul I believe that too but WHEN U CAME WITH POPE AT THE BALCONY THE CROWD WERE ASKING WHO IS THAT OLD MAN IN WHITE DRESS HOLDING THE HAND OF KUTTAPPAN. After hearing that I became unconscious.

LESSON FROM THIS STORY

NEVER EVER UNDER ESTIMATE A MALAYALI ....

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Please don't delete this after reading, You should atleast send this mail to:
10 Malayalis & you will receive coconut oil,
20 Malayalis and you will receive banana chips,
40 Malayalis you will receive appams,
100 Malayalis and you will get free land near the rice field behind the lungi factory with additional incentive of a whole month's supply of coconut oil and banana chips free.

Long live Kuttappans and other Malayalis!!

PS : I thought, I will select some typical Kerala photographs to accompany this blog. Hope you enjoyed them. But, the best is the one below called "Kerala Airlines".

Don't miss the Captain going to the cabin - folding his 'mundu' ...

Longevity

First a nice joke.

I am not keen on taking pills. So, when my doctor gave me a prescription to lower my blood pressure, I asked him if there were any side effects.

"Yes," he said, "Longevity".

Even though I wrote about keeping the worries to a minimum in the last blog, one of the things I am worried about seriously is longevity. One thing I don't want to do is to live longer. ("Anyone up there? do you hear me?")

Like in this joke, I don't want to do anything which will have a side effect of longevity. Though I like walking, people are threatening me that I will end up living longer this way. I am in a quandry now. Whether to walk or not?


There are many things like that. Even though I have carefully avoided doing any physical exercise, the low-key lifestyle and walking seem to have a negative fallout on longevity. What can I do to have a nice time now, but still end up dying early, I wonder. How to have the cake and eat it too? Any suggestions?

I tried to make a list of 'evils' - which are normally considered as joy for the present, but worry for the future. I thought, it may be helpful to pick up some bad habits, which may facilitate my eagerness to avoid longevity. But, I can't stand smoking. So, that is ruled out. Liquor etc. seem to result in we losing consciousness, which I am totally opposed to. Unfortunately, I have a very uncooperative palate - not liking things which are considered good to reduce longevity. I still like food with chillies and salt - so, there is some hope to contract blood pressure, I guess.

Many of the bad habits also seem to have an element of addiction and overdoing. So, I have decided to get addicted to some habits and overdo them, hoping that this will help in my aim. Now, I listened to music non-stop at home, we watch movies regularly - almost daily? - ranging from cartoon films to 'chick flicks', peppered with James Bond and slapstic comedy ones. Of course, trying to surround myself with people who can infect me with sick jokes!

Mianren, the chinese god/goddess of longevity

Let me see if I succeed in my attempt. If any of you have any other brighter ideas that can help my endeavour of reducing longevity, let me know. Give me a couple of tips to offend Mianren...

Keep worries to a minimum

This is one of the seminal philosphies snoopy has ever given, don't you think? I too have a theory very similar to this - Great, I have graduated to thinking almost like a dog now!

Man, for that matter woman too, being an 'intellectual' creature - unfortunately, I may add - wants to worry. S/he wants to face challenges, wants problems to solve and that seems to be the essence of life in the world. Most of the people are fighting for their very survival and are struggling to get their couple of square meals. But, whoever is assured of these basic needs are also equally anxious till they get their few square feet to get a house etc.

In Gudalur I see the school drop outs living blissfully without worrying about higher education; but the doctors who are probably the cream of academic excellence are always worried about doing their Post Graduation and wanting to learn more. As you open a door, you see more closed doors. Wisdom.

So, the technique is to be bothered only about small issues in life, get ourselves preoccupied with basic things. Which hopefully we will be able to resolve. Not completely but to some extent. Because if we can resolve the basic problems completely, our mind will wander about bigger and more difficult problems. This way, we are busy 'tackling' important problems and are engaged always. Till time runs out.

Signs of recession

These are days of global recession. I don't think I have witnessed recession before in my life - This may mean two things : either I am quite young or had remained ignorant about economic issues for very long! You can guess yourself.

So, in the spirit of blogging, I thought of letting everyone know how to recognise that recession is setting in. What are the signs and symptoms of recession?

First and foremost, there will be more talk of bears and less of bulls. No, no, not in the National Geographic channel, but in all the business TV channels. The vocabulary in business circles will undergo some change. "Government should take their hands off from trade" will change to "Government should intervene". Flamboyant statements like "It is not Government's business to run business" will change to "It is Government's responsibility to bail out the sick units".

Words like "Morality of bonuses" will be discussed over and over again - but it is a different matter that the companies will continue to pay high bonuses even from the bail-out money given by the government. Frugality, cost cutting measures, caution, bench strength, extra work force, inefficienty will be acknolwedged as important issues to talk about.

The line dividing management and labour will also become unclear, I think. Even quite well-paid employees whom you would have considered normally as 'rich management guys' will claim themselves as poor employees and resort to strikes and protest demonstrations.

Another thing I noticed in the newspapers. There will be an Opportunities section in the print media, which gives details of job availability. There will be articles around career guidance and about work place situations. The focus of these articles will change from 'how to pick up bright employees' to 'how to lay off your staff humanely'. Or, from the days of 'multi tasking or doing two jobs efficiently at the same time', you will see more articles on 'how to protect your job in the face of competition' etc.

I wish these important issues continue to dominate our conversations even during boom times! Read this joke about a sarcastic dad recently.

Having landed a new job away from home, a young man wrote to his dad: "I have been made assistant manager, a feather in my cap."

Soon after came another piece of good news: "I am now general manager, another feather in my cap."

And, then the recession hit. "Have been laid off. Send money for train fare," read the telegram. The father wired back: "Use the feathers - fly home."

There are predictions that we have turned the corner and the recession is about to be overcome. But, again, history shows that the slowdown normally slows down very slowly. Wow!

Vegetable Ganapathi

I am ever fascinated by the Lord Ganapathi and the various forms he takes. More importantly, he seems to give an opportunity for his devotees to be creative too! Here is a nice photograph sent by Nambi. A Ganapthi made of only vegetables. Isn't He wonderful?


If you like this, probably, you may like my earlier post on Ganapathi also. Click here to read that.

Manoharan, the Bacteria

In the last post, I had written about the very tender and delicate nature of the Government servants. They seem to be very sensitive and can exist only in peculiar climates - almost like some exotic plants. So, am I.


Sometimes, people in Gudalur and even some friends outside appreciate me very much and are quite happy about what I am doing or not doing. The only thing I want to tell all these people is that I am also like those Government servants. Very tender and sensitive and all that. I can also exist only in certain environment. I am quite effective only in certain organisations, in the company of certain people.


I had been a miserable failure in certain commercial enterprises of my family, which I was duty bound to get involved. Being aggressive, demanding things from others and pushing hard for your personal benefits are important characteristics in most of the organisations, especially business oriented ones. Inspite of being a Management graduate, I will be a terrible failure if I have to get involved in some such organisations.

Thanks to the orientation to the NGO sector in Andhra, I ended up in this field where I fit in properly. Things which would have been handicaps in other organisations are indeed strengths here. So, with a little bit of hardwork, I could manage to cover up the handicaps and voila, you are a reasonably good, effective manager. So, give me the right environment, I flourish. If the surroundings get murkier, I am at a loss.


Though I would prefer to compare myself with an exotic archid or some such precious plant or flower, Abirami differed. Given her medical background, she said, "something like a bacteria. Only in certain temperatures it will survive..."

Fine, Manoharan the bacteria...

Make an Allowance...

Recently, I had the opportunity of getting involved in a nationwide survey done on Government health professionals and various hospitals in our country. The questionnaire covering the salary and incentive package available for our government doctors was a very amusing one.

The salary being paid to the doctors by the Government seems to be low compared to the money they can make by private practice. So, this survey tries to find out what are the incentives they get and what should be done to discourage private practice. I was totally tickled to read the kind of incentives Government is offering in some States for the Government doctors.

Apart from the salary, they get something called Dearness Allowance, which is supposed to take care of increased cost of living. Then, we have travel allowance, tour allowance and daily allowance. Some of the health staff get shoe allowance and some other people get only a coat allowance. Yet others get a Gloves Allowance and some lucky people get a Soap Allowance. Why soap allowance? Just to wash their hands off their patients?




Doctors are not willing to go and work in villages. So, the Government offers them Rural Area Allowance when they decide to work in small places. But, they are not too keen to work in big cities also. So, they are paid City Compensation Allowance. While normal people may be spending huge amounts of money to visit hilly regions, our government servants want some compensation to work in such places and so, they get Hill Area Allowance (This HRA is not to be confused with the House Rent Allowance, which they will get wherever they are!) Some States prefer to keep the door open by generally giving something called Difficult Area Allowance, without, of course, defining what is a difficult area. If rural areas are not possible and cities are difficult, hills are problematic and difficult areas are out of the question, where will these people work, I wonder.

Then, we have other interesting family allowances. For children's education, you have education allowance. (To improve your own knowledge, you can get Medical Journal Allowance). There isn't anything for getting married, but there is a Small Family Allowance, if you have only two children.

After going through this questionnaire, I thought our government doctors are really an exotic creatures - like some kind of archids - who can work only in a very small band of climatic conditions and social settings.



Given a chance, the only allowance I would like to ask will be something like:

Only Men Allowance : If certain days, I am surrounded only by men, then I would like a compensation for that.

Terrible Noise Allowance : If there is a visitor to the office who has a very high decibal level of speech, then an extra Rs.100 as an allowance will be fine.

Anger and Cry Special Allowance : One thing I can't stand is people shouting at someone else in anger, and worse, crying. So, if I am forced to attend one such session, probably, the thought that I will get this special allowance can be soothing.

Terrible Dress Allowance, Sick Joke Allowance ... I can go on like this.

Budgeting

Before I started working for NDDB some years ago, the idea of Budgeting was a fascinating one for me. The only budget I had known till then was the National Budget presented by the Finance Minister in Delhi. Those were the days of total Government control over economy and hence, many policy decisions were announced in the budget. I used to wonder how can one person or a small group of people plan the incomes and expenditures for the entire country's economy.

But, during the last 10 years, hardly a month passes by without me getting involved in budgeting for something. And, things have gone past lakhs and are frequently reaching the crore mark. Gone are the days of indecisiveness, 'how can we plan what will happen tomorrow?'. Why tomorrow, these days, I am involved in making plans for the next five years also!

Recently, made a plan on how many meetings will be held during August 2012 and in which village. Not only that, how many people will participate in that meeting, how many men and how many women, what will be travel cost to reach Gudalur that time (assuming a diesel charge and fuel efficiency of the Government vehicles), and the cost of one vada and three idlis (inherently assuming the cost of rice and dhal and oil). It is just child's play. The only thing to worry is whether we will get the money or not.


Budgeting is not at all a problem now. If, by chance, this budget gets sanctioned, then the actual problem starts. How to spend that money. More importantly, how to explain why it was not spent and what creative explanations can be given to convince the donors.

The donors are also becoming totally crazy. From six monthly reports, we have come down to even monthly reports. This leaves very little elbow room to manoeuvre and hence the explanations also need to be extra creative. "We budgeted to spend Rs.10000 on this meeting, but suddenly floods came and all the participants were swept away. So, we could not spend the money". Or, sometimes, "the children camp could not be held, as most of the children suddenly became adults and participated in a youth camp instead".

Churchill seems to have remarked once, "A good strategist is a person who takes into account all the eventualities, but more importantly, s/he should be able to explain why something did not happen the way it was planned". We need such strategists these days to run our organisations and answer the donors!