Dilbert's One Liners

By now, you would all have become sick with my admiration for Dilbert comics. But, I think, they are terrific. May be, that suits my sense of humour, I guess. Nothing looks at the animal called organisation, or issues like employees and employers and work culture and all that sort of rot, as interestingly as Dilbert Comics does. Take this mission statement of the Manager for instance.
Recently, Bala sent a series of one liners which Dilbert believes. Many of them are my motto in life too. So, here they are.

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
2. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train.
7. Born free, taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.


11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
18. If you can't convince them, confuse them.
19. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.
20. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
21. To Err is human; to forgive is not a Company policy.
22. The road to success - Is always under construction.
23. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
24. All the desirable things in life are illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.

Aren't they gems?

PS : In Cavincare, I wonder whether Bala is the pointy haired Boss or Dogbert, the CEO?