Some more Error Messages

Here are some more error messages from our friendly computer - mainly using Windows.

First, a medical error message.

Problems like this happened when we tried to introduce computers to our adivasi nurses in the hospital. They could not understand why we didn't think of immunising the computer (or the users) much before the virus struck !

Many a times, Microsoft itself is confused a bit. They figured out something is wrong, but what is it ?


When you do not get any 'communication' from Microsoft for quite some time, you feel something is wrong. That is the time, you should get something random like this ...

Of course, such a rare phenomenon normally catches them also in surprise. They can't believe that there wasn't an error in the operating system so long.

Mighty pleased with themselves, Microsoft guys will start patting their own backs.

One of the first things I do, when I sit in a new computer is to switch off the Office Nuisance, I mean, the Office Assistant. The OA thinks too much of itself and we must put it in proper place. See, one can't even commit suicide without this fellow popping up ...

The best is of course when they try to say, there isn't anything wrong with their software, but the problem is YOU !


How do you like that !!

PS :

However, there are some people who need constant support from the Office Assistants. Here is one such gentleman ...

Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics ...

Statistics as a subject had evoked extreme passions over the years. Opinion is divided about its usefulness, even its status as a scientific subject - like the singing talents of Cacophonix. Statisticians think that it is a science and useful, while everyone else thinks it is just a lie.


Someone said, "Numbers are like people after all. Torture them enough and they will tell you anything". One George Gallup even seemed to have boasted, "I can prove God Statistically". Here are some statistical highlights why they felt that way.

It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays live longer.

According to a recent poll, 51% of all Americans are in the majority.

A statistician can have his head in an oven and his feet in ice, and he will say, "On the average, I feel fine."

Studies have shown that the leading cause of death is life.

39% of unemployed men wear spectacles. 80% of employed men wear spectacles. Work spoils your eye sight.

What do you think ? Here is an article on Statistics by MILES KINGTON in The Observer, 3 November 1986

People who do very unusual jobs: the man who counts the number of people at public gatherings.

You've probably seen his headlines, "Two million flock to see Pope.", "200 arrested as police find ounce of cannabis.", "Britain #3 billion in debt". You probably wondered who was responsible for producing such well rounded-up figures. What you didn't know was that it was all the work of one man, Rounder-Up to the media, John Wheeler. But how is he able to go on turning out such spot-on statistics? How can he be so accurate all the time?

"We can't" admits Wheeler blithely. "Frankly, after the first million we stop counting, and round it up to the next million. I don't know if you've ever counted a papal flock, but, not only do they look a bit the same, they also don't keep still, what with all the bowing and crossing themselves."

"The only way you could do it accurately is by taking an aerial photograph of the crowd and handing it to the computer to work out. But then you'd get a headline saying "1,678,163 [sic] flock to see Pope, not including 35,467 who couldn't see him", and, believe me, nobody wants that sort of headline."

The art of big figures, avers Wheeler, lies in psychology, not statistics. The public like a figure it can admire. It likes millionaires, and million-sellers, and centuries at cricket, so Wheeler's international agency gives them the figures it wants, which involves not only rounding up but rounding down.

Sometimes they do get the figures spot on. "250,000 flock to see Royal two", was one of his recent headlines, and although the 250,000 was a rounded-up figure, the two was quite correct. In his palatial office he sits surrounded by relics of past headlines - a million-year-old fossil, a #500,000 Manet, a photograph of the Sultan of Brunei's #10,000,000 house - but pride of place goes to a pair of shoes framed on the wall.

"Why the shoes? Because they cost me #39.99. They serve as a reminder of mankind's other great urge, to have stupid odd figures. Strange, isn't it? They want mass demos of exactly half a million, but they also want their gramophone records to go round at thirty-three-and-a-third, forty-five and seventy-eight rpm. We have stayed in business by remembering that below a certain level people want oddity. They don't a rocket costing #299 million and 99p, and they don't want a radio costing exactly #50."

Funny, isn't it ? Anyway, to round off the Statistics section, here is a nice conclusion by two statisticians :

Two statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don't worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York.

A little later, he announced that a second engine failed, and they still had two left, but it would take 10 hours to get to New York.

Somewhat later, the pilot again came on the intercom and announced that a third engine had died. Never fear, he announced, because the plane could fly on a single engine. However, it would now take 18 hours to get to new York.

At this point, one statistician turned to the other and said, "Gee, I hope we don't lose that last engine, or we'll be up here forever!"

Goddess Durga, Harry Potter and Copyright

First it was Turmeric. Now, magical mythical characters ! People in the Western world trying their copyright stunts on Indians and our ancient knowledge and traditions ...

Indian Newspapers on October 11th said something like this :

"J.K.Rowling, the creator of fictional character Harry Potter filed a copyright violation case against a Kolkata-based puja committee. The suit is filed with the Delhi High Court for using statues of the Harry Potter characters without prior permission. Lawyers representing the Edinburgh-based author and Warner Brothers, who hold the rights for the Harry Potter series in India, confirmed that a petition had been filed in the Delhi High Court. The suit seeks restraint order from the court against the Puja organizers in Salt Lake area of the city from using Harry Potter characters on the pandal."

It all started with the organisers of the Durga Puja festival at Salt Lake deciding to create the pandal like the imaginary Hogwarts Castle. The four-day Durga Puja festival which begins on October 17 is the biggest Hindu festival in east India. In Kolkata alone, more than 10,000 pandals -- elaborately crafted temporary structures in various themes -- are set up to venerate the goddess. This festival is celebrated on the occasion of Goddess Durga's killing a demon and the victory of good over evil.

People from all over the country visit the city at this time, and it is considered a matter of great pride and honor for local communities if their pandals are praised for originality and getting the most visitors.

They seemed to have spent more than ₤ 15,000 for this. Now, there was a danger yesterday that it may have to be dismantled if the copyright violation case continues. The organizers were also on the verge of constructing a mock steam train next to the castle set, which was intended to resemble the Hogwarts Express.

Like all of us, typical Indians, the organisers had no clue that they need to seek permission from the author. They thought the immense popularity of Harry Potter will make a good theme.

Meanwhile, kids of the locality were reported to be irked over the legal action initiated by the author and her associates. They felt that the move will definitely spoil their festivities, the greatest in eastern India.

The organizers did not want to leave everything to Durga and heavenly intervention alone. Durga, probably, had the capacity to kill demons - for which the Durga puja is celebrated, incidentally. But, courts, copyright petitions and insecure authors are a different ball game altogether. They were not sure whether Durga will be able to do it and went to Court instead.

They decided to send a team of three lawyers, one of them a Supreme Court advocate, to fight their case in the Delhi High Court. And, lo, what the court did !

The court allowed the group in Kolkata to use the structure until October 26, when the festival ends. "The court has given us permission to use the Pandal (the structure) and whatever has been made till the 26th of October, no compensation has been directed to be paid," the community's lawyer, Soumitra Ghose Chaudhuri told the Press later.

The group's lawyer seemed to have argued that since the celebrations were held in the public interest and they were not for profit, the community did not need to pay compensation. "We are quite overjoyed with the court's order," said Santanu Biswas, a leading community member.

First of all, our elders should have registered all our mythological stories - a few thousand years ago itself. It would not have been possible for Rowling and her ilk to write about flying animals and chariots, talking doors and scary castles. If the good old people in India had thought of 'protecting' all the magic tricks abound in our mythology, we could have stopped this billionaire author from suing our kids in Calcutta for Two Million rupees. Alas, we never thought of it. Our people felt stories are for kids and they are to be told to children wherever they are. We thought stories and the characters are for joy - we never thought of selling them !

The High Court might have saved us, but the agents may go to the Supreme Court. But, as of now, the Goddess Durga seemed to have conquered one more evil - the copyright freaks !

Senior citizen on the wheel

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Dear, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!"

"Heck," said the husband, "It's not just one car. Not one, They are hundreds of them !!"

Ageing - 2 : For the Proud Old things among us

I was born in 1966. So, I qualify to be called OLD already. So, as a true member of the club, I root strongly for my tribe. The old things. A wonderful email that has been circulating for the last six months is worth sharing in Musings now ...

All kids born in 1930s, 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s

First, we survived being born to mothers who had no full time maids/cooked food/cleaned the house while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate cheese , sweet dishes and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a local bus/train was a special treat.

We would spend hours on the terrace under bright sunlight flying our kites, without worrying about the UV effect which never ever effect us.

We drank water from the tap and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate pastries, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because......

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!


We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours reparing our out dated bicycle and scooter out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms........!

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!


We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were never given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,

we made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!

Cricket League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!


The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

And YOU are one of them!

CONGRATULATIONS!

PS -The big type is because, at your age, your eyes need it.

PPS - Of course, in our over-enthusiasm, we may think too much of ourselves. Here is one to remind us where we stand in today's world with super kids around ...

Ageing

Two news items published in the Hindu on 19th September next to each other :

Turning 112

The world's oldest man, Tomoji Tanabe, celebrated his 112th birthday on Tuesday, in Miyazaki, Japan, saying he wanted to live forever.

Death Notice

A New Zealand woman, 76, posted her own death notice in a newspaper, urging friends and relatives not to mourn her too much.

Age and growing old are constantly appearing in conversations these days. Automatically 'elevated' to senior citizen status in the office, among colleagues and friends. Will write much more about Ageing later. But, a quick comment sent by Anita on this - from the Foreword to the book ‘The Naked Eye – Travels in search of the Human Species’ by Desmond Morris.

“Although the short chapters in this book are fragmentary and episodic, and a great deal has inevitably been omitted, the intention throughout has been to convey the wonderfully varied pleasures available to anyone living on this small planet who manages to sustain an inquisitive eye, a childlike wonder and a sense of humour.

It is true that the ageing process always involves an increase in rigid thinking, firmly held opinions and hardened attitudes. But although we cannot defeat physical ageing to remain young in body, we can do a great deal to stay young in mind. The trick is to never stop asking questions and never stop exploring, whether it be new places or new ideas.

And it helps to perform at least one eccentric act each day, no matter how small. Nearly all the great discoveries made by mankind have come from exploiting a lucky accident. But you stand no chance of encountering such an accident if your life is too neatly organized and routine-dominated. A search for novelty cannot guarantee exciting discoveries, but you can be certain that without it there will be none."

Will help you all with a list of eccentric acts that you can choose from. (Not that you will be short of ideas, if you are my friend already !!)

Gandhi

From the Hindu on 30th September 2007

Debate on relevance of Gandhian philosophy

SRINAGAR : This year Mahatma Gandhi's birth anniversary will be celebrated with a difference in Jammu and Kashmir as the culmination of a month-long debate in schools and colleges on the relevance of the Gandhian philosophy. The finals of the debate will be telecast live by Doordarshan. The idea to involve the younger generation in analysing the relevance of Mahatma's philosophy of non-violence in a violence-ridden State was conceptualised by Chief Minister Ghulam Nabi Azad.

It is a cliche to talk about 'how Gandhi inspired me !' etc. Cannot deny that his writings and his story is a big influence on most of us. His biggest success is political - but, to most people, his conviction and strong views on many personal issues are more important. In fact, he did not distinguish between his public life and personal life.

His personal traits are the most inspiring to me than the political philosophy of non-violence and satyagraha - may be, because I am not a 'political' person. He had the courage to do what he thought is right - irrespective of what others felt or what will happen to the movement etc. You must have guts to do something like this. Just look at me - where do I stand in this respect ?


I am part of one miniscule organisation with less than 100 people. Even then, I do so many things for the sake of 'organisation'. I don't want to show our weaknesses to others, who do not agree with me - either within the team or outside. I take care not to express publicly my convictions and reservations. I tell myself - "for the long term benefit of the organisation, I need to play this role". But, Gandhi had the conviction even to drop national movements, if it differed from his standards. When the whole party was willing to compromise, he stayed alone. And, of course, when India became independent, he had the courage to be away from the scene of action.

This issue is bothering me more and more. I don't want to be bound by any organisational boundaries. I pray for courage to do things which I feel is correct at this point in time. And, if these convictions were found to be wrong later, to have the courage to accept my failure. Gandhi didn't find any merit in Consistency and he was not a big fan of saying the same thing for years to come.
The next thing which amazes me is how much he wrote. It takes lot of energy and motivation to continue to communicate to others, when you don't know what is the response. It is possible only if you have enormous strength and positive feeling to everyone around. On all sorts of things, he wrote so much. In such simple language. He had a view on everything and didn't hesitate to say it openly - not bothered about what the specialists will say etc.

Again, looking at myself, where do I stand ? I postponed starting this blogging for more than 4 months, because I was 'busy'. Where is my miniscule responsibility compared to his leadership to a national movement ! It shows his sheer hardwork. I must try to be inspired by him and do a bit more writing - irrespective of whatever is the feedback.

There are hundred things about Gandhi which people do not agree with. I also have reservations on some issues. But, that is immaterial. There are thousand things which I agree with and want to do. Let me see whether this thinking gets translated into action.

I wonder, how will be the finals of the 'Relevance of Gandhian philosophy' debate in J & K schools. I am interested to know. I hope it gets covered in 'The Hindu' or in internet.