Whither Email?

I am one of those affected by this Dekofossamossis!

Normally, one step behind as far as the latest technologies are concerned. When everyone was talking about mobile phones, I was still wondering if I needed telephone at home. But, when internet and emails became absolutely important, I went for a telephone at home.

Similarly, after dilly-dallying on mobile phone for some time, accepted the mobile also. Now, it is one of the inalienable parts of my body, I guess.
As usual, I do not appreciate the current technologies of Twitter and Facebook much. I got an account in Facebook also, but didn't find it exciting. Fell back on email.

In fact, Email is the important way to communicate for me right now. If you add all the words that I send by email to others, it will far outnumber the words spoken, I assume. Except Durga and Vennila, the most preferred mode of communication with everyone else in the world is Email right now.


So, I was shocked when I read recently an article which said Email is on its way out. Only Old people are using emails. All young ones are using only Twitter and Facebook. Who wants to type all those long long words? And, all that sort of rot.

My God, what will I do if people stop checking mails and use only their mobile phones or the e-walls in facebook or orkut to communicate with each other? Whither email?


I continue to believe (hope?) that email will live and withstand these new arrivals. Of course, I also have heartfelt contempt for Twitter and Facebook. I am irritated by all those short messages with wrong spellings and abbreviated words. "C U 2mrw" etc. are blasphemy for me. English is a sweet language and it is a crime not to type the entire word with proper spellings. Says me.

Executive Assistants

I had written about the elected terrorists in Karnataka a week ago, isn't it? That saga is finally over. The Chief Minister, Yeddyurappa saved his chair by conceding to all the demands of the Reddy brothers. Reinstating all the officials, transfering the people required and even dropping his favourite minister Shobha.

Of all these changes, I am quite curious about the Shobha episode. Let us ignore the uncharitable comments doing the rounds. But, she was described as an efficient Minister in his cabinet and he was consulting her on all important issues - asking the officials to run all the files through her once.

To some extent, my personal inclination (even training in IRMA) is to be just next to the top boss in any organisation, provide all support, give your views / suggestions - but leave the decision making to the one on top. No, it is not second-in-command. That will be deputy CM or Vice-Chairman or Joint Commissioner or someone like that. I like being the back room boy - something like the anonymous "Prime Minister's office", "Kitchen Cabinet", "President Office Spokesman" or something like that.

The problem with Shobha was that she was a public figure, on the stage rather than behind the screen and hence, everyone could easily target her. I guess, she is a typical politician waiting to become CM one day. But, I am more keen on understanding bureaucrats who stay behind the corporate kings, political masters and Chief Functionary of various organisations. That role interests me.

I heard that one of my juniors in IRMA is the Executive Assistant to Mukesh Ambani. One of our seniors was the Personal Assistant to Dr.Kurien for long. The boss can get all the inputs from these special assistants, but if required, they can be junked without any fuss. It is a demanding job; should be able to keep your ego on leash; Loyalty to the core is a must. And, of course, often it may be totally a thankless job - except the Boss and some people within the organisation, the general public may not know about you or your contribution.
To some extent, I am doing something like that in Gudaur. Except that I don't have one boss, but about hundred different people. But, I love this role.

Offending Monkeys

Recently read about an atrocious scientific finding in the newspaper.

Humans and monkeys have similar brain networks

Using "resting state" functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) it was found that human and monkey brains have highly similar brain networks preserved across evolution. Patterns of connectivity were examined.

Isn't it a finding offensive to the Monkeys? Just because monkey kingdom does not own any labs or hire any scientists, it does not mean that we humiliate them with such comparisons with humans. Howmuchever high-sounding words like fMRI we use, this argument will fall flat, the next minute you see a monkey and a human, and compare their brain networks!!

OK, probably, they had similar brain networks looooong back; but along the way something got messed up. As is the case with many other networks that man invented, these monkey brain networks also got clogged and took their own direction. Just because humands had started walking straight, it does not mean anything; We invented arms to fight each other in massive scale; Do you think, if our brain networks were the least similar to monkeys, would we have done anything appalling like this?

And, worst, we use our ancestors for all kinds of scientific studies like this to prove that we are like them! No way. Fortunately, monkeys cannot read and write - another sign that their networks are different from (and superior than) ours; so they must be oblivious of this stupid study. Else, they might be wondering what have I done to land up in such humiliation!

It is as good as saying Elephants got their genes from cats, just because their tamil names sound similar.

Who makes how much?

Recently we had a discussion about salaries and how much to increase every year to whom. It is difficult to estimate the contribution each individual makes, since organisation by nature is a large team.

Here is an attempt to prove scientifically that scientists cannot make much money. Don't worry, if you are not a brainy person; we will have the last laugh - as given in the last slide!








Now, after reading this presentation, I feel financially secure!!

Terrorists - Armed and Elected

During the last fifteen days, I had the curse to witness to different groups of terrorists.

News 1

Armed Maoists kidnap the drivers of the Delhi - Bhubaneswar Rajdhani Express Train. All the passengers were taken hostage. The demands of the kidnappers included release of their top leadership in jail. After a drama of 5 hours or so, the train was finally let free and the kidnapped drivers were found to be safe.

News 2

Three ministers of the BJP government and about 50 MLAs go off to the neighbouring Andhrapradesh, staying a resort and demand the removal of the Chief Minister. They demand the removal of certain officials (who are alleged to be honest), a woman minister (who is alleged to be quite efficient) and a top Bureucrat of the State. They also want policies that will affect the profitability of their Mining company changed. After a drama of 15 days or so, all these changes are conceded by the Chief Minister, all those officials, bureaucrat and minister are dropped and the policies changed.
Now, tell me, is there any difference between these two sets of terrorists? The first set of terrorists and kidnappers were armed; so the press (local and international), the government and all concerned condemn it.

The second set of terrorists and kidnappers are elected by people; they use blackmail and get away with all their demands conceded. So, the government hails it as 'crisis resolved; new deal worked out' etc.

At least, the first one did not result in any harm to the common public, except for the inconvenience for a few hours. But, the second one made the government go limbo and their top-priority of providing relief to the flood-affected thousands had to be shelved for good 15 days. Isn't this more criminal?

Awful.

Age of Superfluity

We are living in an age of superfluity. Everything is available in plenty. What with pests like Television, the world dumps a whole lot of thing in my mind - through my ears and eyes and what not. Fellows in the mass communication business are highly irresponsible. Without thinking twice they say, show, yell all sorts of things. Everything is in excess. Products, services, advertisements, songs, films, insurance policies, shares... everything is in excess. Why, even holiday resorts to get away from all these nuisance are also too many.
They will scatter all these information in front of your eyes all over. And, it is then your job to crawl beneath the mountain and search the needle that you are looking for in their haystack. It is easy to look for water in Thar desert than to look for your drop of nectar in an ocean of rubbish, isn't it?

Take the comperes for example. Okay, TV comperes are atrocious, everyone knows about it. But, even RJs are also becoming intrusive and want to stamp their identity in your mind. In my view, they should think twice before talking. They are supposed to enhance the experience of the listeners by being in the background; but, they intrude, come between me and my song; say all kinds of rubbish and finally, manage to spoil - for ever - the nice experience I can have with that song. How awful.

Don't they train them on these issues before giving the tremendous responsibility of talking to a thousand people in one shot? Take classes or something - just to say that words are the most precious thing and don't spill them hither and thither. If you ask, or if I were the MD of such radio channels, I will give a limited quota of words to all these RJs. You can say only so much in one month, you better plan properly and say only what is required.

There was a nice RJ called 'Biju' in WorldSpace Tamil. Be it modern film songs or 'gems of 1950' or 'carnatic songs' or 'devotional music', she was really good. She enhanced my listening experience and made it a pleasant time. Of course, she has gone missing now.
And, some dominating lady, giving all sorts of Gyan is spoiling even my favourite music programmes. Can someone ration her words, please?

Women buying things

Recently saw a film called 'confessions of a shopaholic'. One of those chick-flicks. But, one hilarious scene I liked in that movie. A spoof of the Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, in which all these shopaholics meet and take a vow that they will never shop again!

There were some men in that gathering, but why is it that women are considered more shopahoilcs than men? May be, men like me totally abdicate our responsibility of bringing home the bacon (I mean, bread), so women take up that role. Or, because women are more particular, quality conscious, insist on value for money etc. Men cannot be bothered about finer details?

In any case, one of the ancient cliches is that women spend too much time buying things. I don't have any problem with that. But, it becomes a bit sticky only when you have to give your views on this or that.



As long as I can stay outside the shop looking at all those who come for shopping, it is fine. Irresponsible? Indecisive? Call me whatever, but I can't shop.