Low Cost Perks

As promised, here are some excerpts from an article on Low Cost Perks that can highly motivate employees.

"Companies can have unique ways of making their employees feel special and fostering team building and bonding; and all this while it hardly costs them anything!

Employee perks today, are not just related to monetary benefits, but go all the way to making your employees feel special and showing that you do care for them! Studies reveal that more than 75% of employees working in mediocre paying paying jobs find happiness in perks that need not necessarily be in the form of money. Here is a list of some great low-cost ways to reward performers with perks.

Work-from-home days : Give them a break from office, but not from work! Try allowing your employees to work from home. Ease out job burnouts.

Discounts : Employees love it if they can indulge their family in some great shopping experience. There is nothing like making your employee's family happy!

Occasions : The annual closing, new year and other festivals can become an excuse for some fun and frolic, and bonding as well.

Movie Mania : A movie-day once a month will do more good than harm. Double the benefit by screening inspiring movies that could leave the employees entertained and also boost their spirits.
Free Seminars, Paid Training ... the list can go on and on."

Sounds nice. But, when I realise that the underlying motive all these is to get employees perform better, it leaves a sour taste in my mind. Would be happy if we genuinely just want the employees feel better and stay happy. Period. No talk about efficiency and better output and all that.

I wonder what sort of non-monetary perks I am getting right now. And, what sort of things will keep me motivated? In my younger days, I might have said, 'to be posted in an all-girls department'. 'Having very good colleagues' is a good reason in Gudalur. Mostly all of us are hard working and genuine, I think. Having a good sense of humour is the bonus!

Excuses - Grade I

There is a thin line between excuses and lies, don't you think? We have all heard about the child which did not want to come to the school exam the next day, saying "I am going to have stomach ache tomorrow...". But, adults are no better. Read this below:

Lot of unwanted dogs turn up at the doorstep of Britain's biggest dog welfare charity. With some Grade-I excuses. They have released the Top 10 dubious reasons its staff has heard over the past year for dumping dogs at one of its shelters.

"My dog does not match the sofa," topped the list, followed by: "The dog looks evil and has different coloured eyes ..."

"My black dog does not match the new white carpet. Can we swap him for a white dog?", was at number three.

Other excuses: "My pet guinea pig got worried with a dog in the house."

I think, the best was, "The dog opened all the gifts on Christmas Eve". Creative they are, these dog-dumpers! This dog below is in trouble. If the owners change the carpet, he has to go!


One of the legendary reasons we have heard from an adivasi child in our area for why she did not go to school is this : "The elephant ate up my school!". It seems, the elephant had actually eaten the roof of the small school built in the village. Head ache and fever are quite normal and unconvincing. Terror attack or heavy floods etc. look quite crude. But, "a wild elephant was standing along the way, so I could not come", sounds quite cute.

What is the most creative excuse you have invented in the last one year? Me? I never had to invent excuses, because I am totally honest!

How is this for an excuse?

Satyam and Golden Peacock

A very interesting thing happened in Corporate India this week. India's fourth-largest IT services provider, "Satyam Computer Services" had proposed to acquire Maytas Properties and Maytas Infra, companies controlled and run by the promoter family, for $1.6 billion (around Rs 7,680 crore).
While Satyam is an IT company, the companies proposed for acquisition were real estate ones. And, they were owned by the Promoters of Satyam. The Board took the decision to acquire these companies whose business was totally unrelated to the core business of Satyam, saying that it needs to diversify.

But, the company was forced to reverse the decision just within a day following strong shareholder protests that saw its stock price fall 30 per cent on the Bombay Stock Exchange (BSE). Shareholders felt that they were not informed of this before hand; were not happy that cash available with the cash-rich IT company should go to a cash-strapped real estate sector company. In short, they lost confidence in the company's management.

Neither the move of the Board to reverse its acquisition deal nor the corporate governance principle of “delighting (the) stakeholder”, as stated on the company’s website, did anything to restore investor confidence. Shareholders started selling off the stocks and the shares fell by 30%. Satyam saw Rs 4,610 crore wiped off its market capitalisation and several analyst firms have rated the company as a “sell”.

"Yesterday’s developments have eroded investor trust in the management and the board to take the company forward,” said a note from Religare Capital Markets.

And, the irony of all this is that Satyam was awarded the Golden Peacock award for Best Corporate Governance practice for the year 2008! (Now, the jury which awarded it to Satyma will have to answer some questions too!!)

It is quite interesting to me to note this 'shareholder activism' in corporate governance. Can the same be replicated in our political governance as well? Can we have an Indian Polity Stock Exchange or something like that, which can be a barometer of the confidence of the general public in the Government? If the government takes a wrong decision and the IPSE index falls dramatically, then probably, it will be reversed soon?

But, the only problem is the already crazy mass media will go berserk. Each small thing will be a Judgement Day. It is too risky to assume that the TV watching public can be responsible citizens with long term interests of the country in mind. I guess, once in 5 years elections are good enough.

Stock market indices are as flimsy an indicator like the Golden Peacock Award in any case ...

Bonus and Pay

During the feverish discussion about the economic turmoil faced by the financial institutions in USA, everyone came to know that the failing Banks and Companies have been 'rewarding' their chief executives with hefty bonuses for their performance. People said, they are disgusted at the obscene salaries drawn by the CEOs and investment bankers in these firms. The graph below shows the raio of CEO to Average Worker's salary in USA.



Even Obama had to admit that it was not proper for the CEOs to come to Washington in private chartered flights, when the purpose of their visit was to request a bail-out!

The famous Bill Kirkman has recently written about the issue of Bonus and Pay. He argues that we must focus more on Pay, rather than on Bonus. Why are we giving Bonus to employees to perform their duties with diligence and conscience, when they get paid to do exactly that? Are we paying salary to people for coming to the office, and then are required to pay bonus to start working? He argues that a good pay should be part and parcel of the contract; while bonus should be only for extra-ordinary accomplishment.

A nice cartoon on this issue of CEO pay and bonus is in this link. Click if you cannot read the cartton below properly.


But, my experience is different from his. From young age, I am used to pay 'Deepavali bonus' to various minions working in Government. Postmen (who deliver letters) were the first, I remember. Every house is supposed to give them Rs.5 or Rs.10. Then, slowly the virus spread and we started getting people from other departments as well - just on the eve of Deepavali. Now, it seems, Sales Tax officers also go on this 'bonus collection' from house to house. Now, the disease is not restricted to Government alone. Milk delivery people, vegetable vendors, sanitation, Newspaper boys ... everyone wants Deepavali bonus.

Organised trade unions have demanded and it is part of the pay package to give 10% or so of the salary as Deepavali bonus in Tamilnadu. All estate workers, transport corporation employees get this year after year. Even small traders give special bonus to all their staff for this festival. Irrespective of their good or bad performance. Even irrespective of the good or bad performance of the company! So, why called it Bonus, I don't know.

Though grudgingly given, I think, such rewards to ordinary workers on festive occasions were fine and create a nice feeling and good will.

Saradha Textiles, one of the biggest cloth shops in Trichy, pays a pittance as salary for their employees, but gives Deepavali bonus in the range of over Rs.25000 to each of them! They would prefer to get this lumpsum amount instead of getting another Rs.2000 as salary every month, it seems.

I can understand that this is a strong attraction for most of the employees coming from rural background. But, for CEOs and investment bankers of western countries? Many people, interestingly, have argued that rich and well-to-do people like them would prefer non-monetary rewards. More about it in some other post.

Standard of Beauty

One of the most horrid things I have come across about western world is anorexia, the eating disorder. I have never understood how people can have such a disease. Day in and day out, we were worried about Malnutrition here. We had our mothers stuffing the kids as much as possible. Children had anorexia, yes. I mean, they refuse to eat anything which mother thinks is good for them. But, adults?

Four years ago, I heard for the first time about Anorexia and could not believe my ears.

Never heard of men being anorexic till now. A lesson for women - Be selfish like men; eat everything in the plate, without thinking if others in the house have something left to eat.

Situation has reached such alarming proportions in the developed countries that girls do not eat. The reason? Being thin is beautiful. The major sinner is the Fashion industry and advertisement companies. Governments even had to step in to put the record straight, it seems.

"France, the country that defined haute couture, launched Europe's most aggressive assault yet on the promotion of ultra-thinness by the fashion industry, advertisers and web sites. Since the deaths of two anorexic latin american models two years ago, European countries - particularly those known for their fashion industries - have faced pressure to better protect and regulate the health of fashion models and curb advertising that promotes unrealistic standards of beauty.
Spain has banned models with less than a specified BMI. (Body Mass Index). Last year, Italy barred girls under 16 from its runways and started requiring all models to present health certificates proving they do not suffer from eating disorders. New laws in Britain require models with anorexia or bulimia to prove they are being treated for the disorders before they can participate in London Fashion week."

In India, (especially Tamil Nadu), we used to have our standards of beauty a bit different from the rest of the world. Our old Tamil film heriones were pleasantly plump. Fat? No, never. "Just well nourished," as Obelix will say. Our famous Bhanumathi, Padmini, Savithri were all like that. And, we were proud of their beauty. My mother even today will swear that there isn't any herione as beautiful as any of them these days. Here is Bhanumathi, my favourite.

Who will need a skinny hero or heroines? Only comedians were either ultra thin or ultra fat. But, things are changing even in Tamilnadu. Though we have an occasional Kushbu and Prabhu to give solace, the new kids are tending to resemble the western models. I am scared that they may break into two in the middle anytime - so thin they are.

After all, comparison is the standard of beauty, I guess. When all of us were thin and skinny, probably, we wanted our beauty queens to be well-rounded. And, today, when child diabetes and such eating disorders are threatening our kids, we want our beauties to be thin. Like everyone in India wants to be 'white' in colour (Fair and Lovely cream), the foreigners want to become tanned (Brown and Beauty).

Where do men figure in all these standards?

What to do with Nobel Prize?

Winner of the 2008 Nobel economics prize Paul Krugman has a very pungent style of writing. Always writing about gloomy things in the Republican administration - especially, their way of providing health care and swearing by free market capitalism. I thought, after Obama won, he may be happy. But, he has started writing that Obama may not act boldly enough to bring an end to the economic malaise.


But he seems to have a funny side as well. He will receive his Nobel gold medal and about 1.2million dollar prize on December 10. When asked what he planned to do with the prize money, he said he had yet to decide, pointing out that, 'my favourite congratulatory e-mail said like this:'

Congratulations. I hope you can find a bank still standing!

Correct, where will he put his millions now? Wrong time to get big prize money, I guess ...

Children are Natural Philosophers?

Children are famous for thinking differently. Did I say 'Famous'? Change it to Notorious ...

Two days ago, I was listening to a programme in the BBC in which one teacher was teaching philosophy to the children! He said that children are the natural philosophers. "They always ask questions like WHY and HOW and HOW DO YOU KNOW", he said. "They are curious and want to know what causes everything!". Fine. I agree with his views. But, I disagreed with his attitude - I could sense that he was appreciative of the kids asking all those questions.

I bet this teacher does not have a child of his own. Otherwise, he won't be uttering these words with amazement. I am positive that he does not know the famous saying, "All nice children belong to the neighbours".

Anyway, to bolster my case, here is a nice joke.

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note which read like this.

" Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Now, what do you make of this? I am sure the fellow standing in the middle is plotting something against the other two. And, in any minute, he is going to come out with something terrible.

Natural Philosophers? Ugh.

Mumbai Mania

Deeply distressed by the terror strikes in Mumbai. Reading all the different things itself is taking time. Didn't have time to muse.

But, many ordinary people seem to have done their bit to save others. Like in any tragedy, this element came out once again.

NSG commondoes, fire service personnel, Mumbai Police and many other public servants are the heroes of the hour. For once, the country, media and the entire public seem to be appreciative of them and publicly cheering. This will motivate them, I am sure.

Of course, politicians are the villans in everybody's eyes. Running down each other - even during this tragedy.

Personally for me, the 24x7 news channels were bigger villans. Happened to go near television one of these days and I was disgusted at the way they were covering the operations. For them, terror is the most attractive marketable commodity.

Being Indian, will get over things quite fast and everything will be as normal as before in a day or two. But, right now, feeling sad and depressed.

I am unique ... or 'Add Value'

Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

In today's world, one of the most important thing people want is to be unique. You can succeed only if you are unique. Only if you are different. So, there is constant urge to be different and unique. The problem happens when everyone does that. One professor (not very good at statistics) said proudly, "all the students in my class are above average!" Try telling him that it is statiscally impossible. All the advertisements say how that particular product or brand is different. What is your USP, unique selling proposition? Just imagine, if someone advertises, "Our soap is good, but it is like every other soap", will we buy it?

In the professional place too, people want to stand out. Read recently an article on organisational issues. How everyone is adding value to company's efforts these days, and why it has become even counter productive! Here are some excerpts for us all to muse...

"The trend of 'adding value' is taking the corporate world by storm. This has transformed into an addiction to excellence as we are always, consciously or subconsciously, looking to add value. Everything from meetings to brainstorming sessions to the simplest discussions moves to a solemn plane. It is not about sharing opinions, solving problems or generating ideas anymore, but has more to do with squelching others and scoring one over everyone else.

For instance, picture this: A person just starts floating a simple idea, only to have everybody else interrupting with different (read:better) ways to tackle the issue. Nobody is willing to listen, minds only whir to churn out another way of doing things. And, obviously the best one is always 'my way'.

It is goodbye to teamwork and collaboration. The overpowering drive to add value does yield instant positive effects by way of an initial motivation and spur in productivity, but not for long. It is not sustainable and soon poisons the entire atmosphere."

After reading this and learning an important thing in life, I have decided not to add value to the world and just be like everyone else and accept others' views. I have decided today not to try to be unique. But, till everyone else also changes, that is an unique thing to do! Aha!

Teachers - Unfair treatment

Teacher : "Ravi, if two and two is four, how much is twenty and twenty?"
Ravi : " That is not fair! You always do the easy ones and leave the hard ones for me."

Teaching profession is a difficult thing. Especially in the primary school level. If more than twenty years of your life are spent in interacting with very small kids, something will surely change in your mindset about the world, isn't it? Imagine, always living in a world where you knew all the answers. And, only you knew all the answers and no one else around you! You better be, when it is you who ask the questions in the first place...

Isn't there a danger of we getting a superiority complex when we are always surrounded by students with 'less' knowledge? When day in and day out, we keep 'teaching' them what they do not know?

And, like in the joke on top, you can answer easy questions and leave all the hard ones to the kids. Modern education system motivates the teachers to be friendly with the children, treat them as equals and importantly, to be honest with the kids. But, when I was a kid and went through one Government school after another in my school years, teachers were the most powerful creatures in the world. They did not teach us concepts or the logic behind many things - but merely made me get very good marks in the examinations, I guess. But, my reverence to some of them still stays. I thought at that time that they knew everything.

And, I can remember, some of them were quite charismatic! Being in a small town, they took liberty and went overboard - some of them kept cracking jokes, a few used to come to the school in white shirt and white pant; pop unbelievable questions in maths at you, but solve them in a few minutes; when we give answer sheets, they will tell you (without looking at it) the mistakes we would have made! My Tamil teacher, while teaching poetry, used to sing them all. High pitch and all that. I wish, we had such colourful personalities around us today...

The ancient practice of guru-shishya is gone now. Teaching is also a profession, even though some of them have passion to it. The personal link that a teacher enjoyed with the children and their families is gone now. We have big factories churning out students with impossibly high marks.

Personally for me, I will never be able to teach small children. I am sure, I will fail miserably. But, I enjoy teaching adults. The problem is that I know so little which adults want to learn. So, it is restricted to things like debit and credit, and of late, something to do with computers. Even there, I do the two and two, and give off the twenty and twenty to them!

Blessed in Gudalur!

For the last three or four months, I am blessed a lot. Almost every day, six or seven times, people bless me. I am having a sneezing fit and various medications are able to control only to a limited extent. I am blessed only in Gudalur, because when I go out of Gudalur for a few days, my sneezing stops. So, if I want to be blessed, I must stay in Gudalur!

The easier way is to get used to sneezing and that is what I am doing now.

But, people around me are blessing me whenever I sneeze. In my childhood, never heard of it. If we get hiccoughs while eating, my mother will say, "Somebody is thinking about you!". Nice sentimental thing to say. But, sneezing? No, we were never blessed in our little towns of Tamilnadu. So, what is this ritual?

There are many stories about the origin of this 'Bless You' ritual. Tried to search in the net and got some interesting facts. The most popular explanations were two.

One, most people believed that the heart stops when you sneeze, and the phrase "bless you" is meant to ensure the return of life or to encourage your heart to continue beating. This sounds quite scientific, but surely is not true. Because, people are blessing me only during the last couple of years, even though I started sneezing right from my childhood and still managed to survive and my heart didn't seem to have stopped.

Two, - and I like this - Your soul can be thrown from your body when you sneeze, and saying "bless you" prevents your soul from being stolen by Satan or some evil spirit. Thus, "bless you" or "God bless you" is used as a sort of shield against evil. Some people have even written that, this stops evil spirit from entering into our body through the mouth and throat.

If this were true, I am the most soulless person during the last four months. The way I have been sneezing, any soul - if there was one - would have decided to quit and gone in search of a more comfortable place to live.

However, the current breed of doctors are just saying that it is not so much a shield against evil spirits as against bacteria and the like. "Bless you" in response to a sneeze might be to bless or thank a person who sneezes but covers his or her mouth and nose with a tissue, handkerchief or even a sleeve as an act of concern and courtesy to others, in order to avoid spreading the germs expelled so as not to sicken other people. Presumably, a person who fails to demonstrate such concern and courtesy by not covering the mouth and nose during a sneeze would not be blessed or thanked.

But, many bloggers have written that these days, one says "Bless you!" because it is expected, not out of concern for the wellbeing of the sneezer's soul or a need to disassociate oneself from the dying. It is more a socially done thing. Saying 'Bless You!' has become as much an involuntary or beyond-our-control thing like sneezing itself.

Nowadays, if I start sneezing, it is not just once. My nose will be satisfied only if there are four or five episodes. People trying to bless me are having a tough time catching up with me. Is there any norm for such quick-succession of sneezes? Apparently, there is. "During a multiple sneeze episode, bless once after the first sneeze and once after the last. Blessing each time gets tiring." Lo! But, I wonder how they will know this is the last one and I am not going to sneeze after that?



There are other interesting facts as well. Sneezing can send tiny particles speeding out of your nose at up to 100 miles per hour! Wow! Scientists should start devising methods to harness this enormous energy. Invent some small machine (in the shape and size of a napkin, of course) which can store this energy into a battery or something when people sneeze, and use it to light your torch or calculator or something like that.

I have seen cats and dogs also sneeze. It seems, except squirrels, almost all the animals sneeze. Why not Squirrels? There you have me. I wouldn't go near an elephant when it sneezes. But, a cat sneezing is supposed to be a good omen for everyone who hears it. Other superstitions say that a cat sneezing once means there will be rain; if a cat sneezes three times, the family will catch a cold; and a sneezing cat is a sign of future wealth.

It may be good to have a sneezing cat around. But, many people start sneezing when there is any cat around! Cat-22 problem?

Obama and Change

The most buzzing word in the world today is Change. Obama has given it a fillip in this Presidential election that no other word would have got. But, can he change things? Got this cartoon from Premila today saying there isn't any big change in Obama becoming the President of America. Click on it to read the letters!

I too am quite doubtful - what one man can do? Born and brought up with Democratic ideals and the virtues of parliament, I am a bit sceptical about the electoral system of America which talks so much about the White House, but not so much about the Congressmen and Senators.

But, on the other hand, if one man can cause so much havoc in the world, we can just hope another man can also cause change! It took just one George W. Bush to bring America to such a stage - unilateralism in world affairs, unwanted war in Iraq, global financial turmoil (even as late as yesterday, he said in the G-20 meetings that we should all swear by unlimited capitalism and free market and warned us that we should not go back to 'protect the economy'!).

One thing is already evident. He has already inspired our politicians in India. Each one clamouring to say that change is coming to India and he (or She) is the Indian Obama. Is Mayawati the Obama of India? Is actor Chiranjeevi the Obama of Andhra Pradesh? While talking about our office accounts, I almost said, "let us change this voucher. Yes, we can", and felt like the Obama of Thottamoola road!

Anyway, inspiring people is one thing. Inspiring machinery (the official one) is another. The bureaucracy, state systems, national and international institutions etc. are so much clogged that I wonder whether any one person - however inspiring - can do anything. Let us hope that Obama can bring about a change and optimism in the minds of young people about politics.

Long Nose

We have heard of people unnecessarily interfering in other people's affairs. We get annoyed with them, saying "don't poke your nose in other people's affairs!". But, some people have really a big problem. A long Nose.


The Young World magazine of Hindu says,

"The largest human nose ever recorded was that of Englishman, Thomas Weders who lived in the 18th century. It was almost 19 cm long."

Can you believe it? While walking hither and thither, he would have surely poked his nose in everyone's affairs around. Poor chap.


I am known to be an introvert, minding my own business. For all my other faults, no one can accuse me of one thing. Of poking my nose in other people's lives! I can prove it, My nose is exactly 3.6 cm!

Yours?

40 tips for better life - Part 4 of 4

Here is the last part of the serial.

31. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

32. The best is yet to come.

33. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

34. Do the right thing!

35. Call your family often.

36. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.

37. Each day give something good to others.

38. Don't over do. Keep your limits.

39. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.

40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about.

Phew.. That does it. I should remember to have a very long life so as to put all these 40 tips into practice. I wish the author had given the tip no.38 right in the beginning. I would have cut short this list and provided a condensed, abridged version of "Just 3 glorious tips for a better life" or something like that.

Lunar Land Grab

Whole of India is proud of our Chandrayaan success! Indian scientists successfully sent the Chandrayaan-1 spacecraft, India's first unmanned scientific mission to the moon. With the successful launch of Chandrayaan, India now has joined an exclusive club of nations including the US, former Soviet Union, European Space Agency, China and Japan to have sent missions to moon.

OK, as a patriotic Indian, I am happy and pround of this achievement by our scientific community and all that. But, I always wondered why go to moon at all. It is such a nice thing, all alone far away from all our human endeavours. One of the few romantic things left in life. Even at this ripe age, walking in / observing a full moon makes me glow and wonderful.

Why are our scientists keen on going to Moon?

Along with expressing their happiness on the historic moment, the country's top space scientists said in unison that with the first lunar mission from India, the country had entered a new era of planetary exploration.

Brought up with sentimental songs about moon right from childhood, it is a special thing and one would like to keep it going that way. This planetary exploration will surely erase all those sentimental and romantic stuff and will translate moon merely in terms of minerals and oxygen and yes, helium-3.

One of India's aims in reaching the moon is the possibility of harvesting helium 3, a key fuel for nuclear fusion. Although fusion is not commercially viable today, scientists say it one day will be, and that once it is a fuel, supply will become a problem, as the earth is believed to have only 15 tonnes of helium 3. The moon is thought to contain upto 5 milliion tonnes.

Oh my God! Surely this is the end of my dear moon. After finishing the coals of our tribal jungles and oil in remotest of places (after causing melting of ice in Alaska with exploration activities), now man has put a foot on moon also with this mission. It may be a small step today, but ironically, a giant step for the human kind in destroying moon and fighting over its resources. Now, countries will try to fight over the lunar territory?

Officials at the Indian Space Research Organisation (ISRO) remain tight-lipped about the possibility of a lunar land grab. U.R.Rao, a former director of ISRO, was less taciturn, pointing out that the moon might have 'enough helium 3 to produce energy for 8000 years'.

This view echoes that of the head of China's Chang's project, who told the China Daily in 2006 that 'each year three space shuttle missions could bring enough helium 3 for all human beings across the world.

If moon is any wiser, it should immediately release all its helium-3 into the space or wherever and free itself of any material that will be of interest to man. Otherwise, after some years, our kinds will be taught this way only :

நிலா நிலா ஓடி வா
நில்லாமல் ஓடி வா
மலை மேலே ஏறி வா
ஹீலியம்-த்ரீ கொண்டு வா

And, within a few years, I am sure we will manage to bring power-cuts into moon as well. Every Monday night, India will have lunar power-cut from 10 to 11 PM etc. Or, we will have two or three New Moons in a month; and the Full Moon will be restricted to once in 6 months or some such thing.

Instead of being romantic, the moon light may become like hot sun and lovers will associate moon only with their fights rather than the long lingering walks.

Why can't we leave nice things as they are?

To keep the Equilibrium

Quite a few people think that I am useless. This is a majority and I am happy to say that I too subscribe to this view. However, there is a lunatic fringe which considers me as a very useful person dedicated to my work and convictions. And, what not! This fringe seems to be growing and I am alarmed!

I need to take steps. I invite this group to visit my home. If you can come to my parent's place, still better. Just a few days of stay there will dispel any myth you may have about my utility and helping tendencies. A perfect slob and an invalid-by-choice will be on display. While all the womenfolk slog it out in the kitchen and elsewhere, you can witness Manoharan passively consuming all the delicacies and read and drink (tea) and sleep.


During Diwali 2008, I came out with an intellectual explanation for this criminal laziness.

"I do this to keep the equilibrium of my image and get a thick edge which insulates me from the adulation of the misinformed folks.

I help them join the mainstream."

Are you in the mainstream or in the lunatic fringe?

Coffee and Stimulation

Bosses do lot of useful things in any office. A good boss always provides stimulation to all his subordinates.

Here is how a boss can replace coffee.


Anyone else wants urgency and stress and stimulation ?

40 tips for better life - Part 3 of 4

Things are becoming a bit more sober as we move to the 3rd part of the Better life Tips ! here they are :

21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Forgive everyone for everything.

26. What other people think of you is none of your business.

27. GOD ! heals everything.

28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

29. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

30. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

Stay tuned. The last episode is to come shortly. Same time, same place ...

Corrections & Clarifications

From an issue of The Times from 1841, reprinted last week in the same newspaper, the editor has given an indication how long the Old Printer's Devil has been with us!

"In the Article on the Hoo Union in our paper of Saturday, an important typographical error occurred, the word 'died' being printed for 'did'. The passage should read thus: 'It was a Sunday but neither I nor the child went to church, the child's mother did (not 'died'), and he was flogged for crying after her."

Sometimes, mistakes make interesting reading, isn't it?

Can cook ? Go to UK

If any of you are in a position to provide Career Guidance to young aspiring citizens of our country, you can ask them to forget computers, but go straight to the kitchen. Here is a news item to bolster your case:

Indian chefs will be allowed to work in Britain's multi-million pound Indian restaurant industry but the IT workers from that country are no longer required in London, a key government committee on immigration said on Tuesday.

The Migration Advisory Committee (MAC) of the Home Office revised its list of occupations and skills that are in short supply in UK, which enables employers to recruit skilled workers from India and other countries outside the European Union.

The revised list includes skilled chefs, secondary school teachers of Maths and Sciences, consultants and senior specialist nurses, some engineering occupations, including civil and chemical engineers.

When we were young (oh man, that was long time ago !), my mother will shout at me - if I did not perform well in any exam, "Go, you are just good for tending the cattle - மாடு மேய்க்கத் தான் லாயக்கு!" And, my sister used to be told, "You are good for just cooking!"
Things have changed so much and have proved my mother wrong. 'Just Cooking' is one of the most promising career options - not only for girls, but for men especially. And, for tending the cattle, I always feel that it is one of the best jobs in the world. But, we don't get paid that well there ...

40 tips for better life - Part 2 of 4

Here are the second 10 commandments for better life. Don't want to interfere now, so will just leave with these tips.

11. Drink plenty of water.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.

14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

18. Smile and laugh more.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.

20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

I can't keep quiet. I like the last one. But, disagree with the 17th one. I eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a super king and dinner like a mega king !

53 and romantic

A recent article in all the leading newspapers took me by surprise. It goes like this :

"Men are the most romantic when they reach 53. Fifty-three-year-olds are much more likely to surprise their partner with a simple gesture such as a walk in the summer rain or a sprinkle of rose petals in the bath, a survey has found. This is the time they tend to splash out on chocolates, flowers and perfume.

Fifty-three emerged as the age of romance in a poll of 2,000 men between 18 to 65.

French President, Sarkozy (53) with his wife Carla Bruni

Of the 20 to 25-year-olds, only one in four said they had recently treated their loved one to a candlelit dinner. But almost half of the over 50s had. 'By the time a man reaches his 50s he has a wealth of experience under his belt and will be wiser about the things which please a woman,' said a spokesman for the hotel company that carried out the survey.

'He will have endured countless arguments with his partner, made hundreds of mistakes and blundered his way through the early years of his relationship. 'When a man reaches 53, he will be wiser about what works for his partner, and will be more likely to make an effort.'

The study also found a third of the over 50s have recently surprised their partner with champagne compared to just 19 per cent of men in their 20s. The other details of the survey are given below.
As I just crossed the half way mark between 25 and 53, I was wondering where do I stand on this scale of romance! More so, when I know that the percentage possibility I would have offered to walk in the rain (when I was 25) is next to 0%.

I have lots of questions about the methodology adopted in this survey and doubts about the results. However, the most glaring thing that is missing from these results is this. "What was the age of their counterparts with whom these oldies became romantic?" (Remember Sarkozy ...)

News and Butter chicken

We have people called Animators in our organisation. Agitators, conscience keepers, they are supposed to be. Some of them complain once in a while, "Earlier when people were suffering, we used to give them confidence and they listened to us. Now that they are better off, they do not listen to us. It is difficult to get their attention if we talk about unpleasant things like alcoholism. It is easy to discuss things which they like to hear - like giving loans or other goodies."



We used to say in these discussions : "Animator is a person who always says things which are not liked by others. If people are doing the right thing, then there is no need for an animator. However difficult it is, that is our job."

So, recently when I read an article by Outlook's Vinod Mehta on the role of media, I was interested. In the new Market capitalism, the mantra is "consumer is the king and the companies should satisfy his needs." Is it the same for media also ? Here is Mehta's speech on this :

Consumer is Kinky

"Content is more, much more than what readers want. It also has social dimension. Thus, content is a mix of what the reader wants and what he does not want.

The new journalism is entirely based on reader or viewer demands. So, we are told the reader is king and it is the job of a responsible media organisation to provide cent percent satisfaction. This perception is now so widely accepted that to argue against it is like whistling in the dark. Those who believe otherwise are seen as cranks, out of touch with the contemporary market - that is, the reader. If journalism is a consumption item like butter chicken, then why not give the customer the flavour and taste he wants ? That after all, is the first rule of free market capitalism.

This piece of nonsense is outrageously and self-evidently absurd and dangerous. To demolish it is urgent. To let it become the benchmark of our profession is to put in peril everything we have worked for in 60 years."

Well said, Vinod Mehta. News churned out by our magazines and TV news channels are not butter chickens. And, as you said, Consumer is Kinky. He needs to be told things he does not like to hear. Even She, for that matter, needs to be told things she does not like to hear !

Musings of course has other problems. While the consumers are reasonably okay, the author (editor) is kinky beyond any hope of correction ...

Two faces of Depression

A wonderful cartoon which explains how the Great Depression-I in 1929 was different from the current Great Depression-II.

Royal Yolk

"It seems, Prince Charles is served seven boiled eggs ranging from "soft" to "hard" each morning and chooses one which he thinks is exactly right."

- Read in 'Outlook'.

Only the royalty can afford that kind of luxury at the taxpayers' expense !

Even the tiny himalayan kingdom of Nepal has shrugged off the royalty and abolished it in favour of a democratically elected President. After waiting for more than a year that he will gracefully exit, the maoist government had to send him off packing. Last heard, the Nepal King was searching for a house that he can afford.

While, Prince Harry, it is reported, flies home cutting short his military training in Canada to be with his girl friend - who was recovering after a dental surgery !

When will the Great Britain learn from Nepal ?

Laugh at Hard Times

Valluvar, the great Tamil poet said, a இடுக்கண் வருங்கால் நகுக, which means 'Laugh when you are faced with a difficulty'. Now that the world is in deep financial crisis, first let us start laughing. Then, let us talk a bit more about the bubble.

These quotes were collected from different people.

"There are two sides to a Balance Sheet - Left & the Right (Liabilities and Assets respectively). On the left side there is nothing right and on the right side there is nothing left".

Q : "What is the difference between a guy who lost everything in Vegas and an investment banker ?"
A : "A tie"

Q : "What is the difference between a Pigeon and a London investment banker ?"
A : "The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW"

Q : "What is the full form of AIG ?"
A : " American Innocence and Greed"

"I went to buy a toaster and it came with a Bank."

And, the best is,

"I want to warn people from Nigeria, who may be watching this show. I warn you - if you get any emails from Washington asking for money, it is a scam. Don't fall for it."

Tarsh sent the link to another wonderful British talk show where they discuss the sub-prime crisis. Really nice. Do watch this hilarious Video from You Tube.

UFOs and Witches .. and America

Market Research, opinion polls and consumer preference surveys have become part and parcel of our lives. Twenty years ago, when I first designed a survey questionnaire to understand the tea drinking behaviour of Gujaratis in Anand, I did not realise that life is going to be full of such stuff in future.

But, the interesting aspect is the kind of things that people choose to study. That is the key and makes the entire exercise novel. Take this survey about the belief systems in America about hell and heaven and witches and UFOs for instance.

For all its world leader status and excellence in scientific research, far more people in America believe in the Devil than in Darwin, as one late 2007 poll put it. Belief in (literal) hell and the devil was firm amongst 62 percent of those surveyed. Darwin, complete with evolution, natural selection and the rest of it, clocked in with a poor 42 percent.

79 percent believed in miracles, 75 percent in a (literal) heaven. Witches and UFOs drew roughly the same score, with about a third of Americans believing in them. The UFOs have it by a short head among the general population - 35 percent against 31 percent for witches. But witches outclass UFOs amongst born-again Christians - with whom Darwin fares worse than both, logging a mere 16 percent.

The findings themselves are quite amusing to read; but when I try to imagine the numerous discussions they would have had while designing the questionnaire and later actually adminstering the questionnaire to different people, I am quite tickled. Imagine, how the conversation would have been :

"Excuse me, can you stop for a minute ?"
"Yes ..?"
"We are doing a survey on heaven and hell ..."
"Beg your pardon .."
"Want to know your views about heaven, for instance ..."
"Go to hell ! I am in a hurry ..."

I think, it will be good fun to design such a survey form. Any ideas ?

40 tips for better life - Part 1 of 4

Bharani sent an email which gave a detailed list of things that we must do (and don't do) for a better life. 40 in all. I have a suspicion that many of you also might want to have a better life; so, am sharing the list with you all. In two installments.

I am also giving my experience - briefly - in trying to adopt those tips. Man, it wasn't easy, these tips...

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.

Walking was not a problem. Home to office, then back home for lunch, back to office and then again back home in the evening. With little bit of cheating, it comes to 30 minutes. Anyway, in between, I go to Gudalur town to buy vegetables, to leave Vennila for dance class. Average comes to this much for sure.


But, smiling ? It was difficult. Had to stop after the first day itself. I took this tip seriously and was smiling while walking. All to myself. Immediately, got a follow-up card from our nurses - they were wispering among themselves : "One more addition to our mentally ill patients list ..."

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

I sat, but unfortunately slept off within the first 4 minutes. So, I now do this four minutes before sleeping. Clever, isn't it ?

3. Sleep for 7 hours.

Nope. Anything less than 9 hours is not possible. Can't do this. Consoled myself saying, the operative word 'minimum' would have got omitted in this tip ...

4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

Easy to do. I am living with Durga and Vennila - the epitomes of Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.

5. Play more games.

For a few days, I did. But, they found out and complained to the boss. Now, I am forced to play only in my home computer. Solitair ...

6. Read more books than you did in 2007.

Very easy. In 2007, I read about one third of the P.G. Wodehouse book. I have almost completed. Well on target ...

7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

Same problem like sitting silently. Went off to sleep. I am learning to do meditation, yoga and prayer while sleeping.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.

Children didn't find me too amusing. When I tried to discuss the global food crisis, they didn't seem to mind much about it. I am reaching the age bracket of over 70 quite fast; Once I reach there, I am planning to spend time with myself.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

I like this. And, practice it studiously.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

Thanks to Durga and my mother, we follow this tip quite well.

... Will get the second part soon ! Anything useful ?